Splinters
by DMartinez
Summary: These are the lives that Dean(na) Winchester and Caleb Bailey never had. A series of shorts depicting things that never happened. Some lives are very similar to the show, some are vastly different. Some chapters are genderswitch hex, bornasagirl.
1. Solidarity

Author: DMartinez

Email: dmarttx

Disclaimer: Characters portrayed within belong to Kripke and the CW, WB. No infringement intended.

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Incest, abuse, non-con, genderswitch, bornasagirlDean, threesomes, possession, abortion, rape, strong language, hexes

Summary: Lives that Caleb and Dean (or Deanna) never had.

This was just an exercise that got out of hand. It's been multiplying rapidly. Each entry is a different universe. If you need a comparison for clarity, think of the threads Liz sees in the Crushes storyline (Or These Dreams when Liz reads the journal) where she's able to see ways her life could have gone. Only in this case, it's Caleb and Dean. There is some Caleb and Deanna. It's not done. There are several chapters done already. I'll update the warnings as necessary.

Don't read this if you're looking for happy endings, though I may mark the ones that have them with an ** in the subject like of the part. Most of these stories are just two page windows. I may be persuaded to write other windows into the same thread.

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1 - Solidarity

John Winchester howled when Caleb Bailey made it over the hill covered in mud but the young man was charging for the finish line comprised of an old rain drum and a garbage bin full of empties. It was no wonder given the length of the course and the previous night's rain. Dean Winchester was soaking wet and on his heels but not a drop of mud to be seen. Dean almost overtook the older teen but Caleb reached out an arm to pull him back. The two ended up in a wrestling match about ten feet from the finish line. Sam even let loose a laugh at the sight. The match went on and on. John had to put a stop to it before they killed each other. It was a real worry after a bit. "I'm calling it!"

Caleb flopped down in the grass, leaves and grass stuck to the mud all over him. Dean got to his feet and made a face, disappointed not to be declared the winner. "Come on, Dad. We were close."

"You spent ten minutes within ten feet of the finish line and you never got there. It's a tie." John grabbed the hose. "Come on. Both of you up."

Caleb shoved himself to his feet and let John blast the mud leaves and grass off him. Then he stripped to get the crud off his body. Dean was in a similar predicament. Caleb carried the sopping clothes to the clothesline. They strung up their own clothes while John relayed the tale to Hank Bailey over a beer when the man returned from his paying job. Caleb heard his father's guffaw and his chest sunk in a little. He was 17 and a 14 year old had shown him up. Had tied with him, which was kind of worse. He'd just been starting to like the kid.

Caleb took his shower and ate dinner with the rest of them. John was taking off in the morning and the boys were staying another week or so. Hank slid a beer to Caleb and Caleb sipped it until his father took it away. When Sam and Dean were glued to the TV in the den, John slipped out the backdoor. A few minutes later, 10 year old Sam was standing on the front porch with a beet red face. He didn't throw a tantrum the way Caleb figured he would; just stared in the dark in the direction the Impala had disappeared. Caleb found him a couple of books to read behind the bar where the kid had made a nest out of some old blankets and a couch cushion. He was an easy kid to entertain.

Hank stood over Caleb as the younger Bailey smelted down some silver John had brought. Dean sat on a stool to watch. Hank rubbed Dean's head. "That there is a gift. Caleb can make a bullet out of anything."

"It's pretty cool." Dean watched intently but stiffly. Caleb's own back was getting stiff just watching his father's hand on the top of that kid's head. He was a little relieved when Hank moved away from him.

"His mama could do that, too. I saw her make a cross bow out of two paperclips, a pencil, a rubber band and hypodermic." Hank slid a hand down the back of Caleb's head. Only marginally better than normal. "We were in the waiting room waiting on Caleb to make his appearance."

"Wow." Dean breathed, green eyes lit up with awe.

Hank's hand closed around the back of Caleb's neck. "She died when she was having him but she gave him all her gifts."

"Dad, cut it out. You'll make me spill." Caleb shrugged him off.

"Stop shaving your head, huh. You look like one of those neo-nazi fuck-off skinheads." Hank told him before he wandered away to get drunker than he already was.

Caleb finished up with the silver and let Dean help him knock the bullets loose of the molds when they had cooled enough. Sam had fallen asleep behind the bar; Dean just threw a sleeping bag over the kid before sliding into his own on the couch. Caleb took himself to his bed. He got a couple of hours of sleep. Then he looked up to find Sam standing at the foot of his bed with his sleeping bag. The kid didn't say anything. The eyes said it all. He was 11, in a strange house, pissed at his dad and he had no friends. "Go on."

Sam scrambled to get the bag laid out next to the bed and settled in. "Thanks. Dean's snoring."

Caleb snickered. Maybe he had gotten Dean good in the face after all. When Caleb woke, it was raining and dark as fuck. Dean was perched on the foot of the bed. "Sorry about Sam."

"No trouble." Caleb rubbed his head and the stubble scratched his hand. He was due for a shave soon.

"He heard your dad talking about your mom. He got upset." Dean was showered and dressed and just sitting on the foot of the bed.

"Yeah?"

"He doesn't remember ours."

"Right." Caleb couldn't remember what exactly he'd heard about the Winchesters.

"I didn't know you didn't meet yours."

"Yeah well. Thems the breaks."

"My dad goes on and on when he's drinking. Like… too far in to pull himself out." Dean started and let the sentence die. "Goes on and on about how I look like her."

Caleb's stomach twisted at those words. His father's hand ghosted down the back of his neck. He had to stop himself from reaching a hand back and swatting the sensation away. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded, his hand on the back of his own neck.

Caleb pulled back the other side of the blankets. Dean scrambled in. Caleb didn't know what to say. The kid hadn't said anything really. Caleb just knew. Dean had just known. Dean stared at the ceiling. They listened to Sam's soft snores as the room started to lighten up. "Does Sam know?"

"He'll figure it out soon, if it don't stop." Dean's voice was even. Steady.

"It doesn't stop on its own." Caleb whispered and clenched the blankets over his chest with his left hand. The right hand was under his pillow, wrapped around the knife.

"No?" There, the kid's voice was shaky.

"Pubes are a turn off. Don't mean the turn on ain't still there."

"Yeah?"

"Whatever it is he likes, I get rid of it."

"That why you shave your head?"

"Well I'm not a skinhead."

"Could you… cut my hair later?"

"Yeah. I got a buzzer."

"I can't take my eyes out."

"Sunglasses." Caleb reached back and found a pair hanging from his headboard. "It's a gift."

Dean put them right on his face. "You think I could grow a beard?"

Caleb looked over the kid's smooth chin. "Start scraping with a razor, might get something going."

"Sorry I embarrassed you yesterday." Dean whispered from behind the shades. They didn't say anything for a long time. The rain pelted the window and Sammy snored on. "You think girls will know?"

"Not if you don't let 'em get too close."

"How you mean?"

"I don't mean physically." Caleb swallowed down a lump. "Nice girls want to know everything about you. They want to meet your folks. They want to cook you dinner and they start watching when you jump if someone comes on you from behind. One-night stands work better."

"You ever…" Dean pulled the shades off and those green eyes were filled with tears. "Get hard when he touches you?"

"Sometimes. It don't mean shit, Dean. Okay? It don't mean a damn thing." His voice was harder than he'd intended. Maybe the subject just made Caleb tetchy.

"Okay." He put the shades back on.

"Half the time I wake up with wood and I know it ain't got nothing to do with nothing." Caleb breathed out. There, his voice was back.

"Sometimes…" Dean's fists were clenched in the blanket. "I want to… to… with a guy. Just to see."

"To see what?"

"If maybe…"

Caleb almost shot out another protest. Their dads laying hands on them did not make them gay. Getting a hard on when his dad was fucking him up the ass did not make him gay. Shooting a load in the middle didn't make him gay. It didn't. Caleb breathed in and out harshly but didn't say a word. He didn't trust his voice.

"Sorry." Dean's fists clenched harder in the blanket.

"It happens." Caleb's voice broke. Broke like it hadn't in a couple of years. His face was wet. He wiped the wet off and kept his eyes on the ceiling.

"Ladies! Up and at 'em!" Hank called from the hallway. "Breakfast in 20. I want all you guys shaved and showered!"

Caleb got up and ignored his hard on while he got his kit together. Dean lay in the bed for a long time watching him. When Caleb was stepping out the door, he turned to Dean. "It don't mean anything, Dean. Not a damn thing."

"Would it be bad if it did?"

Caleb stared at Dean. He was 14. Just 14 and sounded like he had a better handle on it than Caleb had. He breathed in harshly and let it out slow. "I wish I knew."


	2. Knowing Better Isn't Smarter

Warnings: genderswitch:born as a girl, mentions of non-con

Pairing: Caleb/Deanna

Note: I'm universally calling him Caleb Bailey in these stories. He was never given a last name on the show and I just need him to have one in order to be a whole person. Also whenever his dad is mentioned, his name will be Hank Bailey.

Again; these stories are not really connected. Each one is a new window into a world that never happened.

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2 - Knowing better isn't smarter

Deanna Winchester shushed Caleb Bailey as she slipped into his bed. She tasted like whiskey and venison stew. It was no work at all to get her panties off and slip inside her. He liked the way she bit her lip when he thrust into her. Loved the way she pushed him onto his back so she could sit up and he could watch her tits bounce while she rode him. He tried to predict the creaks in the springs but it was an old bed. They were going to get caught this time. Caleb just thought he had a little more time.

Her soft little breaths hitched sharply as her hips ground against his. Her tongue swept her bottom lip and then her teeth bared when she came like a wild animal. That was the end of him. She was still grinding on him when the door banged open. "Fuck." She swore and turned to face her father. "Privacy? Ever hear of it?"

"John… I…" Caleb just shut his mouth. The man was going to find out eventually. They had just been hoping for a few months later when Deanna was legal. And here he was with his cock still in the man's daughter.

The door slammed shut and Deanna slid off him and laid her head on his shoulder. She was quiet for a long time. Caleb stroked her skin but stared up at the ceiling. "He's going to murder me in my sleep."

She snickered and laid kisses on his chest. "I'm really glad you didn't piss yourself. You were still inside me."

"What are we doing, Deanna?" Caleb turned her face to his.

"Fucking." She shook her head. "I don't know what we're going to tell him but…"

"That's all it is."

"Yes." She nodded.

"You couldn't wait til he was asleep?"

She shook her head with a wide smile and kissed his chest again. "The second I knew we were coming here… all I could think about was riding you until you popped."

"Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."

"Come on."

"I just got caught in bed with a 17 year old by her father. I think we let things get out of hand."

"Fuck you." She shoved herself off him and started getting her clothes on. "I look forward to this, Caleb."

"Why? If it's just sex, then why?" He sat up and reached for his sweats.

She growled and grabbed her boots and shot out the door. Caleb found his shoes and his jacket because she was headed out in this forsaken cold just like every other time she got her feelings hurt. Caleb shot passed Sam and John and Hank and followed Deanna out to the Impala. "Deanna!"

"I don't care if you don't love me the way I love you. I just… I wait and wait until we come back here. It's the only time I don't feel like I'm going crazy." She cried, tears slipping down her face. "I don't have to… worry that you're telling stories about me when I'm not in your bed. I don't have to hope there's no one in your closet with a camera. Or if when we park, there's not two guys waiting their turn. It's just you and me."

"Sh." Caleb got his arms around her. She cried into his chest. "It's okay. It's okay. You tell your dad about those creeps?"

"No." She sobbed harder.

He leaned on the car and held her while she cried. "I wait for you to come back, too."

"Caleb… I don't want to leave."

"Sh. It's okay. I'll go talk to your dad."

"Don't tell him what I told you." She jerked backward and wiped her eyes.

"I won't. I'll just explain that we're falling in love and… we got too carried away." He kissed her mouth. "And when he punches my face in, you're going to have to give me a blow job."

She laughed and kissed his mouth. "A lifetime of blowjobs, baby. I'll stay here."

"Chicken shit." He kissed her one last time. He walked back to the house. Sam was gone. Hank and John were sitting up with the whiskey. John turned steeled eyes on Caleb and Caleb actually felt his dick shrivel and hide in his scrotum… and then that leapt up into his body. "John… look…"

"You're going to leave my daughter outside in the cold?" John gestured to the window.

"She's afraid to come inside." Caleb cleared his throat. "Deanna and I have been…"

"Fucking behind my back?" John offered.

"Dating… for about a year." Caleb clarified and cleared his throat again. "It's pretty serious and she's afraid you'll never let her come back here… and I'm afraid that I won't be much use to her after… you get done with me."

"How old is he?" John asked Hank.

"19, almost 20." Hank glared at his son.

"And he still lives here?" John made a face at his friend.

"He's a good hunter and I don't really let him have a lot of downtime to get a job." Hank shrugged.

"I stayed so I could see Deanna when you all come through." Caleb leapt in. "I could have got a job with that trucking company and still been able to do hunts. I just wouldn't be here when y'all came through all the time."

"Well, the heart of the matter is… I invited John and his kids into my home and you took advantage of his underage daughter." Hank poured himself a fresh drink. "I wouldn't feel right about inviting them back if you were still living here. I think it's time, Caleb."

"Fine. I'll leave." Caleb nodded to them and ran upstairs to retrieve his rucksack and his wallet. He wasn't sure they weren't just trying to scare the shit out of him but they were doing a damn fine job. He walked through the kitchen where the men were still drinking. They were still drinking. John had no intention of beating his face in. They were doing this on purpose. That pissed Caleb off. "I'll leave but you forgot…. Just one thing."

"What's that?" John asked, his glass already tipped into his mouth.

"Deanna's still outside." Caleb was gone before either man could move. He had his car door open and Deanna was climbing into the passenger seat a minute later. He peeled out and they were outside Lincoln in twenty minutes. Deanna stared at him until he pulled over to give the car a break. It really wasn't meant for high speed chases or cross country travel. The damn thing barely ran.

Deanna grinned at him. "So… how long we gone for?"

"When do you turn 18 again?" He breathed out.

"He didn't take it well?" She sighed and tilted her head at him. "About that stuff I was saying…"

"We don't have to talk about it." He assured her. He had a lot on his plate without worrying how to get at the assholes who had made Deanna do things she didn't want to do.

They were asleep in the backseat when the door opened to let in the morning frost. "Get your asses back home. John wants her home without a scratch on her." He stared at the two of them. "Boy, you're gonna git me killed you keep this up. Bring her back in 20 minutes."

"Kay, Dad." Caleb sat up to watch his father pull off in his truck.

Deanna tugged at his pants. "Come on. If we're going to die today, I'm going to die with a smile on my face."

"We got 20 minutes to get back. We'll barely make it." Caleb stared at her. Blonde hair everywhere and full lips pouting. "No… I want to live passed today."

"Fine." She crawled up to the passenger seat and sat in silence while he got them back to the house. Her dad was on the lawn, hands on his hips. She winced. "You stay here. Keep the car running."

"No. I'll take my hits. I knew better."


	3. Making do

Warnings: genderswitch: hex bornasagirl turnedintoaboy

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3 - Making Do

Caleb Bailey got the text and got his house ready. He sent some hunting info to another hunter. He got the bathroom clean and the sheets changed. Dinner turned cold while he waited for her but he would wait all damn night. Deanna Winchester was so worth it. Perky tits, round ass, muscles in her vagina that Caleb had not known existed before he ran into her in some dive in Arkansas before that last hunt he'd done with John. Grown up and ready to play.

Whisky in hand and skinemax showing some fem-dom prison movie, he fell asleep. He woke when the door opened and a familiar jacket scooted in as not to let too much cold in. "Deanna?"

"Caleb." Her voice was different. Her eyes ran around the room. The blankets in front of the fireplace. The booze on ice, or cold water rather. "Fuck, Caleb."

"What's wrong?" He got his eyes to open and his hand to wipe the drool from his face.

"I fucked up. I fucked up." She started to leave but hugged her jacket tighter around her body when she turned back to him.

Standing, he peered into her face. It was different. Her long blonde hair was everywhere. He brushed it back and found dark hair on her chin; soft wisps of hair that had never seen a razor. "What the…"

"I didn't know you thought this was a bootie call." She cried and sniffed. "I'm in deep shit."

"What happened?"

"I… there was this witch…" She breathed and opened her jacket. There. Her tits were gone. Caleb blinked and touched her chest and it was firm and flat. He tore open her shirt and there it was. Flat male chest. Not even little bumps where her tits had been. "There's more."

"More?" He was awake now but this had to be a nightmare.

She reached down and opened the fly of her jeans. "I have a dick."

"A dick."

"Yeah. A dick. Gets hard in the morning, dick." She whipped it out. "Look at it. Is that normal?"

"Holy fuck." Caleb spun away and grabbed the whiskey bottle. He poured it down his mouth and started looking through his books. "We'll find something."

"Dad's on it. I just… Need someplace to lie low." She pleaded with him. He nodded and passed her the bottle. She pulled on it in long swallows before putting her dick away. "Hey… can I borrow some underwear? Jeans chafe and… I'm not sure what to do with a dick and my silkies."

"Yeah. Yeah." Caleb nodded and hugged her to him. "We'll figure it out."

Caleb got her some clothes while she used his shower. She was the same height and build. She was just… missing her fabulous tits and her amazing ass. Her ass was flat and male. She stood in the mirror and braided her hair. She faced him. "Am I ugly for a dude?"

"Pretty for a dude." He corrected with a tilt of his head. "That thing works?"

"Seems to. I mean… I'm not test driving it or anything. I use it to piss and I ignore it all other times. Boners seem to take care of themselves whether I touch them or not." She got the boxers and sweats on. She rummaged around in his drawers for an undershirt. "I can't go topless. I just can't."

"Sorry." He held her when she sat next to him on the bed. "What'd your dad say?"

"The usual. Nothing. Just implied I was a fuck-up and then went to do research." She looked up at him. "Sorry to ruin your plans. It looked pretty awesome." Her hand ran down his chest and then she let it drop. "Now, I'm pissed. It looked awesome. Blankets and a fire." She huffed and started pacing the room. "You cooked. Didn't you. You cooked and… you were going to fuck my brains out."

"It had been the plan." He nodded.

"But now I have a dick."

"Come here." He motioned her closer. "This is temporary."

"What if it isn't? What if I have to… be Dean for the rest of my life. I don't do chicks. Fuck! Does this make me a gay man, now?"

"I don't know. I'm feeling pretty gay right now." Caleb blurted out. "You're still you, you know."

That's how it started. A kiss. She kissed the same. Her eyes were the same. Her noises were the same. When he licked her nipples, she sighed deep in her chest. Then the flex of her hips when he ran his hand down her thigh. They kissed and touched until they were breathless and both hard as rocks. Deanna took the next step. She took him in her mouth. It felt the same as always. Amazing.

When he came, he didn't think he could move but he could feel her erection against his leg. It kind of freaked him out. He kept his eyes on her face while he stroked her and cupped her balls. Cupped Deanna Winchester's balls. It made him laugh out loud. She slapped him. "What are you laughing at?"

"Do you know how many times I've been asked if you're swinging a pair of these?" He never stopped doing what he was doing. He knew what felt good. He had this done to him countless times. She arched and made those noises. Then he did it. He took her cock in his mouth. He had a whole new appreciation for women and gay men. His jaw hurt, he had jizz on his face and chest. Then she was laughing.

She kissed him and cleaned him off. "Not bad for your first blowjob."

"Good then?"

"Amazing." She nodded and curled into him. The wind had died down. "If I get stuck like this… will you keep me?"

"How do you mean?"

"I can't imagine doing this with anyone else."

"Let's get some sleep." Caleb held her and stroked her skin until she fell asleep. He got up and cleaned up and got cooking just to have something to do. He cleaned up their mess downstairs. He got the coffee pot going while he flipped through his books. He heard a familiar engine and he let John in when the sun was rising over the plains. "She's upstairs."

"Good. She's safe. She just took off on me." John shoved his hands in his pockets. "You got coffee?"

"Yeah." Caleb poured him a cup. "How'd it happen?"

"We were picking up some dates in a bar. I pissed off the wrong woman. She aimed a spell and threw something…" John sighed. "Deanna jumped in front of me and it nailed her instead. Supposed to be temporary. Man turns to woman, get the menses, pop the cherry, have an orgasm. Only it's been four weeks. She's still a man. I don't know how to do it the other way around."

"I thought it just happened. Like recently."

"She's not been sleeping much. She won't touch it. Pees sitting down. Tried to get her to go on a date with a girl… a hooker. Just to see. She freaked out. Hooker made me pay anyway." John muttered that last bit to himself.

"Holy fuck! Yes!" Deanna screamed upstairs. Caleb got to his feet. John grabbed for his gun. Then Deana came charging down the stairs in a flannel shirt and nothing else. "I got my tits back and the fucking boner's gone!" Then she froze. "Hi, Dad."

John swung his gaze to Caleb. "What'd you do?"

"Deanna and I have been… hooking up for a while." Caleb shrugged, his eyes on his coffee. "We made do."

John looked back to his daughter who had pulled the flannel closer around her middle. "Okay. I'm going now."

"Dad, wait." Deanna buttoned the important buttons and hugged him. "I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who fucked up. You don't apologize to me for this." He kissed her head. He moved to the door and looked over the pair of youngsters. "Hope she didn't put your cherry back when you changed back."

"Fuck no! You think?" Deanna threw a biscuit at her father when he ducked outside. "Caleb. We have some research to do, like pronto. I'm not losing this cherry the way I lost my first one."


	4. We Don't Talk About This

Warnings: Genderswitch: hexedintoagirl

Pairing: Caleb/Dean, mentions of Dean/Annie

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4 - We Don't Talk About This

Caleb Bailey hadn't seen Dean Winchester in a year. Then he got a text to meet him at the bar they always went to for kicks when the other hunter was in Lincoln. He saw the Impala in the lot and the familiar jacket on the back of a chair but it was a hot blonde sitting at the table. Caleb stared around but his eyes kept coming back to the short-haired blonde wearing the Henley shirt that Dean had spilled bleach on the cuffs of. The woman's tits stretched the chest though the buttons at the neck were open. She caught his eye and gave him a sad smile and a wave, bleach stained sleeve in view. Frowning, he approached. "Do I know you?"

She made a face. "It's me. It's Dean."

"Fuck no." Caleb sank into the other chair and studied the woman. The jeans were too big, laces on the boots pulled tight. Rings were on the wrong fingers. It was the hair though. Dean wore it like that. Kind of long for a dude but short for a girl. "What happened, dude?"

"I fucked a witch. Then I didn't call her." He hung his head and shrugged. "I haven't told my dad."

"How long it gonna last?"

"Til I got my period but that was gone a week ago." He shrugged and made another patented Dean-face. "It was supposed to be temporary. I grilled her and she was clear. Full moon meant I got my period and I did. Well… New Moon is in like a day and I'm still a girl."

"You try talking to her again?" Caleb winced. "I mean… since your… period."

"She said to try getting laid." He gave his friend a look.

"Fuck." Caleb started laughing. "You gotten any?"

"Apparently girls don't count." Dean ran his tongue around his mouth and it made Caleb a little uncomfortable. "I've talked to this bitch like six times, dude."

"Fuck no." Caleb banged his fist on the table then smiled. "How many girls you get?"

"Tons. Look at me. I'm hot." Dean leaned forward. It was strange with the softer features. "I got a threesome two weeks ago. Two totally hot chicks who taught me how to do things I didn't even know chicks liked."

"So, what? You gotta pick up a guy now?" Caleb frowned suddenly.

"I guess. I mean… I've done girls. All kinds of girls. I got my rag. I survived it is more like. I'm superimpressed with bitches because those girls are still holding back. Believe me." Dean sighed and sipped his beer. "I just… hoped you would have heard of something."

"Naw man. This is out of my depth." Caleb grabbed a beer and they drank and talked about their days of picking up chicks together. Then further back of sharing beds and comparing morning wood. "We were two little fucktards growing up."

"I know it." Dean sighed again and shoved his beer away. "Girl metabolism. I can't hold my beer for shit." He got up and staggered over to the bathroom. Caleb watched him check the door twice before going into the ladies' room. Then he saw Dean get hassled on his way back. Caleb got to his feet. He cracked his knuckles. When Dean swung, it was on. Bar brawl, just like the old days. Fists and feet and flying glasses and bottles and bar stools.

Heaving in breaths in the Impala, Dean's shirt was torn, his face bloody. Kept running his tongue over his split lip. Caleb rubbed his jaw with one hand and his shoulder with the other. His senses were heightened they way they usually got after a brawl. Tasted his own blood and the chill of the night air through the cracked window. Felt the hairs on his arms stand up. Smelled Dean's female sweat. Eyes riveted to the hard points jabbing at the remains of the shirt. Heard his female pants for air. When their eyes met, Caleb wasn't expecting Dean's to be like a mirror of need.

It was rougher than Caleb had intended. The kissing, the grabbing, moving clothes aside. The tear inside Dean's body when Caleb pushed in. He couldn't stop. Just kept thrusting into that tight pussy. Couldn't let himself think about it being Dean's. Dean's pussy. Dean's tits. When he came, he pulled out and sat up. Wished he had a drink while the facts of the last twenty minutes sunk into his brain. Dean sat up and pulled his pants up. He retrieved a flask from his jacket and took a long pull. Passed it to Caleb. Caleb finished it off. Tucked his dick away. Blood. Wiped his fingers on his jeans. Spat on them to get it off. He glanced at Dean, whose tits were still hanging out of the torn middle of his shirt. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not." Dean shook his head. "Maybe I'll be a dude again when I wake up in the morning."

"Dude." Caleb groaned. "We don't talk about this."

"Yeah. Anyway. Not like I came. Selfish bastard." Dean joked with a crooked smile. If only it hadn't looked totally smoking hot. Dean winced when he shifted in his seat. "Dude. I know we're old to be comparing our junk but your cock just wrecked my shit. Go easy on those ladies out there."

"Shut up." Caleb laughed. "You need a place to crash?"

"Yeah" Dean nodded and yanked the torn edges of his shirt together. Had to use a button to hold it together. Didn't do much good.

"Alright. Meet me up there." Caleb climbed out of the car and found his in the emptying parking lot. He got the place unlocked and left it open for Dean. He showered and scrubbed the come and blood off his dick. He left the water on for Dean. Had to find something to do to keep away the thought of those tits. Couldn't find anything to do. Found himself leaning on the wall outside the bathroom door. Thought he heard Dean crying. Pushing off the wall, he found something on TV to keep his mind off female Dean. It was temporary. Caleb popped Dean's cherry. His buddy would be back soon.

Dean's smile was tight when he came out of the bathroom. Caleb almost laughed when Dean shoved a bag of frozen peas down his sweats. "You okay?"

"I wasn't actually joking when I said you wrecked my junk." He winced and shifted. "Dude… chicks… put up with a lot of shit. The PMS. The fucking period itself. This."

"Well… that… they only do once if I understand it correctly." Caleb offered lamely.

"It's just… I've been in on these things. As a man… I don't feel them like this." Dean whispered, his hand on his chest.

"What do you mean?" Caleb frowned.

"I've been with tons of girls. It's not a big deal. It's just sex. Everybody knows the score from the beginning." Dean frowned and moved around to pour himself a whiskey. "When I left them this month… I felt empty. Like… the hole was too big to fill."

"Dean…"

"Tonight… well fuck… this happened like… I don't know… couple years ago. You know Annie?" Dean motioned with his hands well outside the round curves of his own chest.

"Yeah." Caleb gave him a crooked smile.

"Yeah. Her." Dean sighed. "She and I… it was… a foxhole thing. A bar brawl thing. Things got real hot real quick and… it was okay. This… it's the same shit. It's not okay."

Caleb's smile faded. "Sorry."

"It's not even about you. Or us being buds or… I wanted that shit, too. Mostly to get it over with… I just feel like maybe I should've been with someone else… or something." Dean made a face and the softer contours of it showed something that Caleb had seen in women he'd dated semi-seriously before.

"I'm not too good with the ladies long term, Dean. I don't know what to say."

"I'm not a lady, Caleb. I'm a man. I'm Dean Winchester."

"Yeah. I know."

"Do all women feel this sad? They can't. Right? Not and function." Dean yanked the peas out of his pants. There was a bit of blood on the bag. He cursed under his breath. "Fucking blood all over everything. How the fuck do women do this shit?"

They got drunk and climbed into bed like they did when they were teenagers. Shoulder to shoulder and eyes on the ceiling. Only they weren't kids. They had just recently fucked in Dean's car. Dean was a woman and Caleb was keenly aware of that. Despite the hole in Dean's soul, the sex had been hot. Seriously fucking hot.

This time Caleb climbed on top of Dean with purpose. Ate him out, tasted the remains of his hymen blood. Made Dean scream out, filled him and fucked him until he came again. Collapsed on top of Dean. They breathed hard, covered in sweat. Last thing Caleb remembered seeing was a hard pink nipple on the tip of a generous breast. Caleb woke to a flat chest and the small male nipple. He rolled off Dean. Dean woke sometime later, hands slapping all over. Caleb pretended to be asleep. Dean's hand came away from his cock covered in jizz. No clue whose.

Shower ran, buzzer droned, Then it was quiet a while before the door shut. Caleb got his shower done and found all of Dean's hair in the sink and all his things gone. He answered the phone when it rang a few hours later. "Hey."

"Caleb, kid. You seen Dean? I've been looking all over for him. I think some hooker stole his car and he's too ashamed to call for help." John's voice boomed into the phone.

"I ain't seen him, John. He's probably off on another 5 states thing."

"You're right. I'll try him again later."

"New Moon last night?"

"Yeah. Think it was. Why?"

"Just wondering." Caleb hung up the phone. He wondered if maybe he'd just dreamt the whole thing but the evidence was there. He had a hickey on his neck. His sink was full of blonde hair. His underwear had blood stains on them. Caleb had fucked his best friend. He was probably never going to see that dude again.


	5. Can Someone Be Okay After That?

Warnings: abortion, possession, vague non-con

Pairing: Caleb/Deanna

* * *

5 - Can someone be okay after that?

John Winchester rolled his eyes at his daughter when he climbed out of their car. Deanna refused to get out of the car. She stayed behind the wheel while John got his ammo from Caleb Bailey. He tried not to get to comfortable in the house if she was making it clear they weren't going to hang around a minute longer than necessary. Caleb glanced out the window. "She coming in?"

"Don't look like it." John shook his head. He eyed the younger man. Deanna was 21 but Caleb was closer to 30. He wasn't supposed to have a say in the matter after she turned 18, according to law, or 15 according to his oldest child. "Something I need to know about?"

"It was a misunderstanding." Caleb waved him off.

"She's pissed, whatever it is." John cleared his throat. "That's my daughter, Caleb. If you can't treat her right, keep your hands off. Simple."

Caleb started to say something then lifted his hands in supplication. "Anything else you need?"

"I got the silver. You got any of that spirit wood?"

"Palo Santo. Yeah." Caleb turned and ran downstairs.

John stared out the window at his daughter. It wasn't like her to back down from a fight. He'd keep his nose out of it, as promised. Carrying the ammo, he got it squared away in the trunk. Caleb never stepped down off his porch and Deanna didn't get out to help. The ride out of town was stony. "Deanna, grow up. You know Caleb's rep. You got one yourself. Squash it. Got it?"

She white-knuckled the steering wheel and bared her teeth at the road but didn't talk to him for three states. That was five hunts and nearly a month. Finally, after she was covered in the blood and guts of the werewolf she'd just killed, she screamed at him. "He knocked me up and says it isn't his!"

She stood there in the blood bath, dripping from head to toe and seething enough that John worried for a second that she'd been turned. Then her words clicked in his brain. John groaned and got his daughter back to Minnesota where they had left Sam. School was going to start up soon and he didn't know what he was going to do with a pregnant grown daughter and a soon-to-be high school graduate. After her shower, she was still pissed. He watched her eat a pound of beef livers cooked up rare and chase it with a chocolate shake. It was fucking disgusting. Especially the way she was gnashing her teeth the whole while, cursing Caleb's name left and right under her breath.

That's what led John to drive to Lincoln overnight just to punch Caleb in the face. Caleb chased John back to his car, clutching his spurting nose. "John. John. No. No. It's not what you're thinking."

"My daughter was pretty specific." John whirled on the man, ready to let him have another one.

"I know!" Caleb held his face in one hand and the other out to stay John's fist. "Normally, I'd be a man and own up to it but I wasn't even near her the day she says we were together."

"What?" John blinked at him.

"Like you said. She was specific. Real specific. Says she was in Anguilla with you in May. Mississippi. She was watching Sam cause of some… fever. Anyway." He paused to spit blood into the dirt." Says I woke her up and we… baby-made… but I was in New York when she says it happened. Niagara. Couldn't have been any further away if I tried. I haven't touched Deanna since… March. When she was hunting that rawhead in Frisco. Texas with you." Caleb panted and spat more blood and snot. "I'd like it to be mine. It's just not possible. I can't be in two places at once."

"You asshole!" John punched him again. Caleb landed on the ground holding his chin in his hand. "If she swears it was you and it wasn't. It was a fucking skinwalker! Or fuck! An incubus."

Caleb looked up and jumped into the car along with John. John gave numbers and names to Caleb to call. John called Pastor Jim to give him the heads up. When they got there, Bobby was finishing a devil's trap on the ceiling. Jefferson had arrived with medical equipment. Deanna was sobbing in the middle of the room. She looked at Caleb and her father and started wailing. That there was not like his daughter; hysterical wailing drove her up the wall. They fixed straps to a table. When Bobby finished, she started screaming in a voice John had never heard before. Her body flew around the confines of the circle. They were certain. It was an incubus. John's daughter had been impregnated by an incubus.

When it was over, Caleb held Deanna in her own bed. Jim had examined the remains of the fetus before setting them to burn in salt and palo santo. Deanna had scratches and cuts all over; self-inflicted during the process of strapping her down. She'd laughed and taunted them all with their own sins. Had seemed to take pleasure in making digs at John and Caleb in particular. Jefferson had shoved ear plugs in his ears when he'd started in on the abortion. He was the smart one. John had held her shoulders down. Deanna had spat in his face and asked him to fuck her like he had his sweet Mary. Then she'd started listing out Mary's sins in excruciating detail. John couldn't be sure of anything she'd said. Bobby had performed a specialized exorcism when Jefferson was done.

John prayed for the first time in a long time. Sam was twitching in his seat at the kitchen table. He hadn't been in the room but John was sure the boy had gotten an earful. "It's my fault."

"No, it wasn't."

"I opened a window. I was hot. I didn't think to check the salt." Sam blurted out.

"You didn't do this." John growled. It would be really easy to blame the 17 year old for what had happened but it wasn't enough. There was so much more going on. "I should have been there."

"Is she going to be okay?" Sam turned to look down the hallway but the door was shut.

"Jefferson says so. She'll need to see a real doctor later." John breathed out through his nose. The last abortion had got his ire up and he'd insisted on follow up care just to prove he still had control over his daughter. That one had been under optimal conditions. Jefferson's hand had been steady but she had moved so damned much. Even with Caleb sitting on her stomach when John on her shoulders hadn't been enough.

"No… I mean… really."

"Caleb's with her. I think maybe she should go live in Lincoln for a while." John's hand shook when he tried to put pen to paper to record the information. Somehow he did it. The words were shaky on the paper but John wouldn't write again if he were paid in the blood of the demon who'd killed his Mary. It was a demon named Azazel if the incubus-possessed Deanna were to be believed. His wife had made a deal with a demon. He glanced at his son. Wondered for the hundred-millionth time what had been done to him in his cradle. What else had Mary hidden from him? A hunter? His wife?

Caleb walked in and poured a glass of juice and a glass of water. He found crackers and a banana. Then he leaned on the sink. Sam walked out and John let Caleb have his moment full of silent but fast and furious tears. Caleb breathed harshly for a moment more and then washed his face in the sink. "Did you see it?"

"Yeah." John nodded. He'd sketched the thing out and he didn't know if he could finish it. "I saw it."

"Deanna's upset of course." Caleb breathed out harshly. "Don't know if she should be left alone. She's going on and on about how she should have known. She was eating bloody food and staying up all night."

"None of us could have known. If you hadn't said it the way you said it… I wouldn't have."

"It's just… Deanna is who she is and I am who I am. I just… it wasn't about… We've been seeing each other more and more… other people less and less." Caleb looked to John. "I want to take her home with me. When she's feeling able to travel."

"I think that's best." John nodded to his journal.

"John… I… wait…" Caleb took a shaky breath. "What?"

"I've never seen her this upset about anything before. The fact that she was so enraged and had no plans to do… what we did… And you're right. There are less and less of the new faces." John took a breath. "She's done it before… cause it was random. She hadn't… cause you were… regular."

"I know."

"She wasn't going to, Caleb." John breathed in through his nose. "She would have done it already if that's what she…"

"I know. Because she thought it was mine." He nodded to John, picked up his items and disappeared down the hall. John followed after a bit. Heard Caleb reassuring Deanna. "Jefferson knows what he's doing. We'll get you to a doctor. Everything should still work and if it doesn't, it doesn't matter."

"I didn't know." She sobbed.

"It's okay. It's okay."

"It was awful-looking. It was a monster."

"Sh. Sh. I got you. I got you. John says you can come with me. It'll be okay."

"Is he sending me away? Is he mad at me? For not knowing?"

"No. No. Baby, he's not mad. He's worried about you. This… Incubus, this is what they do. It made us fight so we wouldn't be together. I should have known." Caleb's voice died down for a minute. "We'll get you straight. Then we'll start waiting in lines at the court house. Then we'll start filling in applications for children while we bang up a storm trying to make our own. We'll raise 'em up with guns and crossbows."

She laughed a little. Tears still in her voice. "Beating back the dark from their cribs?"

"If they need to."

"If this hadn't happened?"

"Oh, if that thing hadn't touched you? I'd've had you over every piece of furniture in my house. Twice. And upside down. When you're up to it, we'll get it done. Just like that."

"You're stupid."

"I know. I'm very stupid and you fuck me anyway." Caleb shushed her fresh tears. "Come on. Drink something. Eat a bit."

"Is he gone?"

"No, baby. He's… putting himself together. He was scared, just like me."

"He's not mad."

"No, baby. No. John's not mad. Not at you. He loves you. He wants you to be safe." Caleb looked up and saw John watching. He breathed in deep and turned his attention back to Deanna. "Bobby's making you this thing. Like a charm bracelet. So that you'll be safe."

"Where is he?"

"He's in the kitchen."

"Why won't he come in here?"

"I'm here." John spoke up finally. "I'm here, sweetie. You rest. You been through a lot."

Deanna rolled over slowly. "What did I say?" She sobbed.

"Sh." John took his rickety knees over to kneel next to her bed. "It doesn't matter."

"Was it lying? About Mom?"

"I'm sure it was."

"What if it wasn't?"

"We may never know." John brushed her hair out of her face. "I'll see what I can find out."

"Don't tell Sammy." Deanna pleaded. "Don't even let him think it."

"I won't say a word to him. I promise."

"You take care of him. He's gonna run. I can feel it." She sniffed. "Don't tell him what the thing said. Okay? He'll just blame himself for everything. He was a baby. If Mom did or didn't. He was a baby."

"I know. I know."

"He didn't know better. Still doesn't. It's not like Fort Douglas." She breathed heavily. "That was all my fault."

"What?" John felt her head. It was burning. "Ice. We need ice. She's got a high fever."

"Don't tell him." Her eyes rolled back in her head.

John picked her up and Caleb ran ahead of them, opening doors and driving to the nearest hospital. Jim and Sam followed in another car. Jefferson was left clutching his bag with Bobby patting the man's shoulder. John could barely spin a plausible tale to the doctors as they worked on her. Caleb stepped up and took care of the story while John paced in front of Sam. Caleb's face was streaked with tears. "The cuts and the… scratches. She did that to herself." He heaved in a breath and let it out slowly. "She got an abortion. I'm not sure it was safe. She's hot. Too hot, right?"

"We'll bring the fever down. Okay. We'll get her checked out." The doctor put his hands on Caleb. It didn't help. "Do you know what they used? Was it tubes? Was it pins?"

"I don't know." He lied. "It looked like the real deal. She… might have moved… in the middle."

"Okay. Okay. Just calm down. I'll go in there. We'll help her."

Pastor Jim prayed outside the room while they examined her. She started screaming. That's when Jim pushed his way into the room and started another exorcism immediately. Holy water and palm ash. She screamed and screamed and doctors were trying to move him but when Caleb rounded the corner, Jim was immovable. He stood in place while three men tried to move him away from the bed. Caleb would swear the preacher was glowing. Latin rose and rose and Deanna's eyes flashed red and black while she writhed on the bed. She started laughing again. Caleb was never going to forget that laugh. "This whore is going to hell! All these weak men. Fantasizing about this female body. The lust is nourishing. She's ours!"

"Not today." Jim shouted and continued his chanting. The security guards had released him when Deanna's eyes caught theirs.

"Put a pin in it, preacher." She spat out and laughed. "She loved it. Every minute our master was on her. She writhed in ecstasy like the whore she is!"

"Deanna." Caleb stared at her. "Don't you let it win."

"You might have stopped that baby's breath but the boy is ours!" Deanna turned her head to look right at Caleb with her eyes red and black. "You think she could ever love you? She was built to fuck. We'll march an army of cambion out of her womb. She'll be our mother."

Caleb felt John push passed him. Jefferson was there with little bundles of something. He and John pinned them all over her. She started screaming again. Jim kept chanting. Then she tilted her head up and screamed something terrible. The walls shook. Sam had his hands over his ears, his tall frame hunched over but staring at something up high that Caleb couldn't see.

Then she was limp in the bed. Doctors and nurses gave the gurney a wide berth. Caleb walked right up to her and checked her temperature with his hand. It was normal. A brave doctor pulled the curtain and resumed his examination. Caleb and John stayed where they were. Jefferson walked out and got Sam back out to the waiting room. Jim stayed where he was, his prayers more of the usual sort.

Caleb took the little basin from the doctor and looked to John. John just nodded toward the other side of the curtain. He walked it around to the pastor. "This was inside her."

"Jesus." Jim whispered at the little bit of flesh. He took it and then he and Jefferson disappeared to dispose of the bit of wing, or tail or horn. Or whatever.

When Caleb returned to Deanna, the doctor was unwrapping a rosary from his hand and laying it on top of Deanna. He looked from Caleb to John. "I've… never believed before. Not really."

"She gonna be okay?"

"Can someone be okay after that?" The doctor looked from one to the other.

"Physically." John pressed.

"Yeah. She'll live."

"I'll take care of the rest." Caleb promised. "I'll make sure she's okay."


	6. The Arrangement

Warnings: BornasagirlDean, mentions of redwings

Pairing: Deanna/Caleb

* * *

6 - The arrangement

Deanna Winchester pulled the car into the Bailey drive and looked to her father. He was being a moody little bitch about the whole situation. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"You cool or do you need me to go in?" She blinked at him.

"Shouldn't that be your call?" John seethed at the dashboard.

"Thing is… I don't care." She cleared her throat. "Caleb and I have an understanding about this. I'm sorry you caught us at it. I'm fine walking in there and walking out. You on the other hand are wound tight. If you can't act like a human being, don't go in. Gimme your grocery list."

"I'm just not sure I like hunters having an understanding with my daughter." John tore the list out of his notebook. His hand froze as his eyes caught something. It was early morning and there was a woman stumbling out of Caleb's front door.

"Ew." Deanna made a face but rolled down her window. "Honey, treat yourself better."

"What?" The woman stopped next to her car.

"I can see that you're an attractive woman under all that mess but treat your body better. Less makeup, more movement. Tone it overall."

"Fuck you." The woman flipped her off and got in her car.

"Just trying to help." Deanna lifted her hands in supplication as the car sped off. She grabbed her father's list and jumped out of the car to lope up the drive. Caleb winced when she stepped in the door as his coffee was hitting his mouth. "Yeah, I saw her. That was gross."

"She was willing." He shrugged.

"You keep bringing home trash like that and my doors are closing." She warned him and handed over the list. "Old man has a laundry list for you and he's waiting in the car."

"Tell him to come in." Caleb set the coffee maker to accommodate his guests while he ran his eyes over the list.

She made a noise to get his attention. "He's not at the right temperature to come in."

"Why not?" Caleb leaned over to look out the window.

"Cause he's still replaying that moment when he opened the door and you had my legs behind my head, just plowing away. Then he saw your trash and thought I was gonna throw a tantrum. He's not a fan of our arrangement." Deanna tilted her head at him. "If you want me to touch you this trip. You're gonna need about seven showers. She was nasty."

"Well, I brushed my teeth." He trapped her against the kitchen counter.

"I didn't." She tilted her head. Her lips parted just a bit. "You wanna taste who I took to bed last night."

"You're disgusting." He laughed.

"So are you. We're perfectly matched." She kissed him anyway. Tasted pussy and iron. "Dude, you're filthy."

"What?"

"Did you seriously just kiss me after eating out a bloody pussy? And strange bloody pussy at that?" She glared at him.

"You could…" He ran his tongue around his mouth when she pushed him away.

"It lingers, you pig." She shoved him away to brush her teeth in the sink. When the coffee maker had four cups in it, she poured out two mugs and left him in his kitchen to go outside. She got back in the car and handed her dad a cup of caffeine and watched the sun rise over the plains. "Pretty morning."

"He got everything?" He grumbled into his cup.

"I don't know yet. I'll go back in… in a bit." She sipped her coffee.

"Getting hungry."

"Okay." She nodded. "Just give me a minute. I'll get you something."

When their cups were empty, she took them back inside. Caleb had showered and gathered a pile of goods on the kitchen table and was still working on the list. She moved past him and turned on the stove. She got a pan out and raided his fridge. He crossed his arms. "Can I help you?"

"Dad's hungry." She answered simply and chopped some ham and onion up to burn while she whipped up some eggs. Then she stole a pepper and tossed that in, too. She had the eggs sizzling a moment later when the pan had smoked up a good deal. "You got bread or tortillas or something?"

"Yeah. I got the big ones in the pantry. Got 'em yesterday." He leaned on the cabinets to watch her move around in his kitchen.

"Sweet." She nodded and started heating up the large flat rounds on an open burner. She got a plate out and made out four burritos, then poured more coffee in a cup. She left a burrito with Caleb and trucked the cup and the other three to the car. She took a burrito and sat back to watch the house.

"Needs cheese." John mumbled around a mouthful.

"He was out." She shoved the burrito in her mouth.

"Why are you out here?" He asked.

"Caleb's working. He needs space to work." She hoped she had too much in her mouth to be a good conversationalist.

"Since when? Caleb's the only person I know can carry four conversations, smelt bullets and shoot a crossbow at the same time."

"Well, then I'm keeping you company." She took another huge bite and nearly coughed when her saliva couldn't keep up with the job she'd put her mouth to.

"What'd he do?"

"You don't want to hear about it." She stole his coffee and took a long drink.

He started his second burrito and motioned to where the other car had been parked. "Is it cause he fucked coyote ugly?"

"It's not cause he fucked coyote ugly. I don't care who he fucks." She took another drink then shoved the end of her burrito in her mouth.

"These… arrangements never work." He told her. "I've had a few."

"Dad." She groaned. "Don't tell me that. I don't want the thought of you having arrangement-sex with anyone."

"But you let me walk in on you."

"That's cause you don't knock." She rubbed her eyes. "Ever. I mean ever. Couldn't even take a piss when I was kid. You just walk right in. Why would you walk into a room when you could hear all that noise? I know I was being loud. Caleb was being loud and you just walk right in."

"How was I supposed to know you guys weren't killing each other?" John polished off his second burrito.

"You knock!" She grabbed the plate and the cup and stormed back into the house. She dropped them into the sink. "I am not getting the image of Dad wearing white socks banging some random barfly on the regular out of my head."

"What?" Caleb howled with laughter.

"I am serious." She pointed to the door. "I know our arrangement is not perfect. I knew he wouldn't be a fan. He just told me that he's had them, too. More than one!" She gagged. "White socks!"

"I'm sure he takes his socks off." Caleb shrugged as he counted silver in cases.

"You're not helping." She groaned and hopped onto the counter. She idly brushed her teeth again. "I mean… it's his own fault that he knows about us. Who doesn't knock in someone else's house?"

"We talking as fuck-buddies or buddies?" Caleb put a check mark on the shopping list and tossed it on top of the pile.

"I don't know." She looked at him. "Are we too old to do this?"

"You're 22." He laughed. "I'm 25. We have not yet hit the age of too old for stupid."

"So, we're being stupid."

He ran his hands up her arms. "Look. He has to accept you're an adult. You gotta keep in mind that he's a man. Okay. He's got a cock and it needs exercise. If he didn't have arrangements, we'd have to be worried. With or without the white socks."

"You're disgusting." She shut her eyes and leaned into him. "I don't wanna do this anymore."

"You… don't want to have mindblowing sex? Or mindblowing sex with strangers? Or mindblowing sex with me?" Caleb straightened up.

"I'm not going to change you." Deanna met his eyes. "I love you. You're my bud. I just… this isn't a good idea anymore. Our arrangement isn't working."

"I didn't know you were going to show up this morning." He sighed and dropped his hands to the counter. "It's not like I got a heads up to clear the place out."

She gripped the end of the counter. "It's not even about that."

"What do you want? You want me to say I'm only going to sleep with you? You wanna move in?"

"No." She made a face at him. "I'm saying the arrangement is over. I'm not interested in moving in or tying you down. I'm just not going to go upstairs anymore."

Caleb sighed heavily. "It's a waste. We have amazing sex together."

"Yeah." She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I couldn't get tied down if I wanted to."

"There you go breaking my heart. I could so tie you down."

"Metaphorically, not literally." She laughed. "Maybe I keep you in the spank bank."

"Deal." He ran his hands up and down her back. "Really? No more?"

"God, Caleb. What's wrong with you?" She shoved him away and hopped down. She started gathering the goods. When he didn't have a ready joke, she turned with an arm full of cartridges. "What?"

"Just like that. You walk in here. Get mad at me cause I'm keeping to our arrangement and you just end things." He leaned on the doorframe. "Just like that. I don't get a say."

"This ain't a chick flick, man. The terms were clear. No one broke 'em. I'm just saying I'm done." She stared at him. 'Why are you so pissed?"

"Forget it." He reached passed her for the guns. He took them out to the car with her trailing behind him. "Hey John." He waited while John unlocked the truck. They traded the guns for cash. Deanna was setting the ammo down when Caleb brushed passed her.

"Why are you being a little bitch?" Deanna yelled at him.

"Deanna." John sighed.

She caught up to him on the porch. "What is your problem?"

"I agreed to our arrangement cause I figured you'd get tired of it and want to make us exclusive… not exclude me." Caleb stared down at her. "Happy?"

"That's what not we were doing. And you know that." Deanna licked her lips and glanced back at her dad. "I'm not the marrying kind, Caleb. I was never going to settle down. That's why we have to end it. I'm not going to be racked with guilt if I fuck some guy after a hunt or pick up a chick cause her eyes remind me of yours. We're in too deep. If I don't get out now… we're going to hate each other forever and I can't have that. You're my boy."

"Then get gone. You send your dad next time."

"You're a pussy, Caleb."

"And you're a bitch. Bye."


	7. What the Hell is Wrong with you?

Warnings: Threesome

Pairing: Dean/Caleb... if you squint

* * *

7 - What the hell is wrong with the two of you?

"Dude, the whole thing is… She looked just like that cheerleader you convinced to fuck us both when I was in high school." Dean Winchester slapped a bill on the bar to pay for their drinks. "Just like her. If it ain't her, it's her twin. If she's got a twin... Our night is planned."

Caleb took his beer and took a deep breath. "Which cheerleader? We did that twice. Becky with the big ass and then there was… Brisa with the bit tits."

"Who cares?"

"Liked Brisa. Loved her tits. Becky talked too damn much." Caleb made a face. "Remember? She made all that fake noise. "Fuck me big boy" and "Do me with your big cock" and all that shit. It was really hard to get off after that nonsense."

"Oh. Right. Becky the big mouth. She had a real big mouth though." Dean grinned.

"She did." Caleb glanced around the bar. "So… was it Becky or Brisa?"

"Brisa. Like… 90% certain, man."

"If it is her. If she did blow you in the men's room. When she comes over here, I'm leaving with her. Facts is facts man. She digs me more." Caleb shook his head at Dean.

"Fuck you. Why would she leave with you when she could leave with me?"

"Cause I ate her out at the prom, while the principal was giving his big speech and she's kind of in love with my cock."

"You're on, dude."

"Boys." John gripped each on the shoulder as he signaled the bartender to get him a beer. "We got a hunt in two days. Do not get locked up, tonight."

"We're not going get busted for anything." Dean shook his head. "And dude, we're over 20. We're not boys."

"That's fuckin' adorable, Dean." John pinched his cheek on the way to pick up his beer. "I'm seriously. No getting picked up for soliciting minors."

"She said she was 18." Dean held a hand up. "What are we supposed to do if they got fake IDs?"

"Be smarter." John clapped Caleb on the shoulder. "Keep an eye out for him, yeah? I'm gonna finish my beer and give that woman over there a ride home. I'm not posting bail until about noon tomorrow."

Caleb followed John's finger and slapped Dean. "You fucktard. You were bragging so long, she moved on!"

"What?" Dean turned. "No."

"You boys have fun, drinking." John took his beer back to the young woman waiting by the door.

Dean groaned and watched them leave. "Cock blocked by my dad. We need a new a bar."

"You need an uglier dad." Caleb declared and ordered a couple of shots. "I got a girl. Standby. I'll give her a call."

"No, there are still unclaimed chicks in this bar. And some of them don't need bags."

"You think maybe your problem is that you aren't willing to take one for the team?"

"What? I have, you son of a bitch." Dean slammed Caleb in the chest with his fist. "Tampa. Fucking Tampa."

"Oh right."

"That is worth like… 12 dates right there."

"Maybe." Caleb winched. "She was… unfortunate."

"Yeah, I know!"

"Okay. Go. Work your thing. I'm gonna call my girl. I'll meet you in the parking lot." Caleb shoved away from the bar. He paused for a minute before emptying his glass. "No crazies, yeah? I still kind of reeling from the last crazy bitch you fucked at my place. She didn't leave for two weeks. Two weeks, man. And I can't have that again. My girl… she's her own crazy. No extra crazy. Got it?"

"Got it. No extra crazy." Dean swore.

Caleb got outside before he pulled out his cellphone. He didn't even get a word out before she was laying down the law. "Sir, if you have even a whiff of some other bitch's perfume, I will bite your dick off."

"Hi Marianne." Caleb held the laugh in.

"How drunk are you? I'm not going all the way out to your farmhouse in the middle of nowhere if you're too drunk to keep it up."

"I'm just buzzed. I'm waiting on a hunting buddy. I'm feeling real lonely."

"What's he look like?"  
"What? I'm not sharing."

"What's he look like?"

"Like… I don't know. He looks like Dean. Little shorter than I am. Brown hair. He has eyes."

"He built like you?"

"I don't know. I guess. He's healthy." Caleb frowned into the dark parking lot. "Didn't we exclude other parties from our bed… like as a ground rule? I think I remember that conversation."

"You only call me when you're drunk and lonely. If I'm hoofing it out to Bumfuck, I'm getting laid. Like seriously laid to hold me over sufficiently til the next time you get drunk and lonely."

"Oh come on, baby, it's not like that."

"It's exactly like that, Caleb. I am not another one of your dumb sluts. I own my own company. I play the market, I cook like Julia Child and I look like Jessica Rabbit. If you don't stop fucking with me, I will start fucking someone else."

"So, when are you coming over?" Caleb tried not to let his heavy breath hit the receiver.

"Are you going to share?"

"Honestly, I'd have to run it past him but I don't think he'll be into it. I'm not real sure I am."

"Don't shit a shitter, Bailey. I know all about your escapades. Rebecca Tartlton, Brisa Espinosa, Tiffany Blackhouse."

"What? How?"

"I'm a smart lady, Caleb. You really think I'd fuck someone without knowing where's he's been?"

"Then you really don't want to fuck my friend."

"You fucked the same girls already."

"I really don't want to share you with him. Especially not after Tampa."

"Whatever. I'm coming over. Don't get too drunk."

Caleb was sitting on his car when Dean stumbled out with a girl on each arm. Caleb groaned. "Dude… what the hell?"

"Caleb, this is Tracey and this is Barbara." Dean grinned. "They would like to see a real farmhouse."

"Dude… I told you. I called my girl. Oh fuck." Caleb slid off the car. "She's going to kill me."

"Just call her back."

"I can't just call her back. She's on her way, now. She will be there before we are and when she sees them, she's going to flip her lid. I've never made her mad before she's already threatened to bite my dick off once tonight."

"If your friend isn't available…" Tracey started. "I can't let Barbara go to a farmhouse in the country by herself. It's not safe."

"No." Dean chased them across the parking lot and returned alone. "What is wrong with you?"

"Dude… Marianne is crazy. I told you I was calling her. She's already pissed at me and…" Caleb blew out a breath. "I can't even break up with her. She'll stop seeing me when she finds… like the holy grail of men to take my place. I'm convinced she only sees me because we don't travel in the same circles. It was my dumb luck to catch her eye when I had to go into town to get a fucking P.O. Box. She's going to bite my dick off. I really believe she'll do it."

"Come on. I'll get you out of this." Dean shrugged. "I'm kind of known for my ways with the ladies."

Caleb got in the car and drove them out to the house. Her car was already there. Caleb made a face at the house and then turned to Dean. "I kind of said I'd ask if you'd join us."

"What? We haven't done that in like 5 years."

"Yeah, I know. After Tampa… I kind of owe you but… look. She's smokin' hot. She's probably wearing something that'll make you jizz your pants on sight. I'm not saying we need to double-team her but we're probably in for a night of making sure she's absolutely fucking happy."

"Scale of 1-10, how hot is she?"

"15."

"The fuck? What's she doing with you?"

"Her best to control me when she's here."

John walked into the house around noon and examined the remains of some Martha Stewart breakfast. Taking a cold pancake-thing with him, John chewed and picked up the books Caleb had gotten ready for their hunt. "Boys!"

"They're recovering." A female voice caught his attention. John turned to find a young woman in a trench coat sitting beside an empty plate and reading from a book that John knew hadn't come from the young hunter. She looked him over and sipped juice from a mason jar. It looked very wrong to John. "Had I known you were an option, I would have made a special request."

"Pardon?"

"I was just leaving." She uncrossed her legs to stand and John understood there was nothing under her coat. The ends of her hair were wet and curled around her neck. "Let Caleb know that I was very impressed with the show last night. It's really a shame those… boys couldn't have made it to breakfast." She stood and pulled the belt around her coat. "I'm sure a man of your… distinguishment could teach them a trick or two."

John's eyes were riveted to her lips and the way her teeth caught an innermost piece like there was just too much lip to catch altogether. "I'll do that." He couldn't even think to step back to let her by. He swallowed down a lump when she brushed passed him. "What's that scent you're wearing?"

She turned and smiled at the door. "I'm not wearing a scent. It was nice to meet you…"

"John. Winchester."

"John Winchester." She leaned on the door, her lip between her teeth again. "Don't a stranger, John Winchester. Tell Caleb to let me know next time you're in town. I make a mean crepe. I usually stick around for breakfast. Do you?"

"Marianne! You down there? I can't get this thing off." Caleb came stomping down the stairs with a black stocking knotted around his wrist. "Oh. Hey, John."

John kept his eyes on Marianne at the door. She took Caleb's wrist and freed it of the stained stocking. She kissed his mouth and disappeared out the door. Caleb turned to John and crossed his hands over his bare chest. "Dean's passed out."

"Okay." John nodded and tilted his head to catch a flash of thigh when Marianne climbed into her shiny sports car. "Marianne, huh. Looks a little rich for your taste."

"Yeah…" Caleb winced. "Did she say something to you?"

"Not really." John took his eyes off the window and looked to the younger man. "You had her tested?"

"She had me tested." Caleb admitted.

"No. Tested."

"No… why?" Caleb glanced up at the stairs and then back at John.

"Something about her. Succubus. Wood Nymph."

Caleb laughed. "She's not a wood nymph. Nympho, maybe."

"You're sure?" John gestured to the door.

"I know the signs, John. Trust me. That's just your… everyday… 15 on a scale of 1-10. She drives me crazy and she's got rules out the wazoo but she's human." He picked up a cold crepe and shoved half in his mouth. "Trust me. She saps my energy, not my soul. And she cooks."

"Pretty good." John nodded and helped himself to another cold folded mess. "You sure?"

"She get you hot and bothered before she left? She does that." Caleb examined the rest of the leavings from Marianne's breakfast. "Man, she cooks."

John sat at the table and watched Caleb move around the kitchen. A while later Dean came tromping down the stairs fresh from his shower. He sank into a chair and took coffee when it was offered. "Man. I think I pulled something."

Caleb laughed. "I think she was hitting on your old man this morning. He thinks she's a wood nymph."

"Nympho, Dad. Nympho." Dean groaned. "I didn't think I'd say it but I'm really, really glad we lost Tracey and Babs at the bar." Dean looked to his father. "How was Brisa?"

"I don't kiss and tell, Dean." John glared at him. Then he stared at the two young men. "Am I to understand you shared the nympho? What the hell is wrong with the two of you? Your choices in women are sketchy at best but to find one that wants to double-team? That's the classy lady you bring home?" He dropped the crepe he was eating and wiped his hand on his pants. "I'm going to a motel."


	8. Please, You Can't Even Say It

Warnings: Hexsex

Pairing: Dean/Caleb

* * *

8 - Please, You can't even say it.

"Who says, Sam?" Dean held his arms open, beer on the verge of spilling. "Who says I haven't, Sam?"

"Please, you're the most homophobic person I know." Sam shook his head at his brother. Highlighter paused over a book in his lap. He hadn't read a single sentence in over an hour.

"I didn't say I hate fags."

"There you go."

"What?"

"That word is homophobic."

"It's a word, Sam. Can it with your PC crap." Dean pulled on his beer. "I'm not gay. I don't care if you are. I have had… relations with… men before."

"Please. You haven't. You can't even say it."

"You don't know everything about me, dude. There were four years when you weren't home." He pointed the neck of his beer at his brother. "Two years where you refused to talk to us. You don't know what I was up to."

"And I'm supposed to believe you had sex with a man."

"Yeah. Cause I did." Dean rolled the thought over in his mind. "You know what? It wasn't terrible."

"Okay. Name one man you slept with."

"I swore I wouldn't tell." Dean shook his head and got up to dig through the cooler for a new beer.

"This is so lame." Sam threw his hands up, the highlighter went flying. The parking lot was nearly empty. Dry towns sucked because his brother wouldn't leave the motel unless it was to haul in booze from over the city limits. "You didn't."

"Look. The dude and I swore we weren't gonna go telling people what happened. But it happened."

"Okay. Let's say I believe this dude exists. Don't tell me his name. Make one up. Tell me a story." Sam pressed as he shut his book. "Make me believe you had a homosexual encounter."

"Fine." Dean cleared his throat and popped the top off his beer. "It would have been…" He laughed. "Your freshman year of high school. So you were actually still talking to me then. I don't think you were talking to Dad."

"No way." Sam shook his head.

"Totally. Anyway. I was off on a hunt cause Dad had to stay with you for some registration bullshit. I had to call on… "Steve" for help."

"Steve." Sam narrowed his eyes at his brother.

"Steve was my bud." Dean waved his beer at Sam. "Steve and I were hunting a coven of succubae. Dad didn't want me to go because he said my libido was out of control already. Steve said he had talismans that would keep us safe."

"Okay. So..."

"Okay. So I'm 18 and I got my talisman and Steve has his talisman and we clear out the coven. Took two days. Then we took off our talismans. There was one left. We didn't know. We went for a beer. No chicks caught our eye. We went back to the motel. I wake up in the middle of the night and Steve is staring at me. He starts apologizing. Then pacing. The longer I'm awake, the more I stare at Steve."

"The succubus did that?"

"Well, we didn't think of that because we were two straight men and we'd just killed the bitches. I mean… we knew it was something. We didn't know what. The boners just popped up and I couldn't stop staring at his. It was weird. Then we couldn't keep our hands off each other." Dean took a breath. "Damn thing came to the room. That's how we got it."

"Wait. That's it. That's your homosexual moment. You couldn't keep your hands off each other."

"You want a blow by blow?" Dean scoffed. "I don't kiss and tell."

"You do all the time." Sam shook his head. "Well, did you like it?"

"Like I said, it wasn't terrible. I'm straight. I like girls. I really, really like girls."

"How far did it go?"

"Completion." Dean made a face at his brother. "What are you asking me?"

"I'm asking you how gay your gay sex was."

"Gay enough that… we could have made a movie. Steve was… pissed when we snapped out of it. I think he liked it more than I did and who could blame him? I'm freakin' hot." Dean finished his beer and rose to get another one.

"What'd you use as lubrication?" Sam demanded.

"What?" Dean snapped off the top of his beer and glanced around the parking lot. "I don't know. Steve had this stuff. Said it was from a freaky girlfriend he had once. Though, I never figured out why he was still carrying it around."

"Caleb?" Sam's hands slapped over his ears. "You fucked Caleb?"

"What? Did I say Caleb? I said "Steve."" Dean clarified.

"No, man." Sam slapped his knee and dug his nails into the arms of the plastic chair he sat in. This was so fucking gross. "Caleb told me he had this girlfriend back in '96 who liked to stick things up his ass when they were fucking. He's the one who told me about lubing before I went to Stanford."

"I said Steve." Dean insisted. Then looked at his brother between pulls on his beer. "Really? She stuck shit up his ass? Like what?"

"Um… vibrator… but like a little one." Sam motioned quickly with his hands. "Narrow."

"Why didn't he tell me that? He never told me about the freaky girlfriend with ass fantasies."

"Probably because he took you up the ass."

"To be fair… that went both ways." Dean made a face. "Steve said he didn't want to talk about it. We didn't talk about it."

"He's dead now. It's been six years. I don't think he cares anymore." Sam pointed out.

Dean leaned on the car. "I don't know. Caleb was always kind of wound tight. Dad said it was cause Pastor Jim half-raised him. Which reminds me. Dad is waiting on you to call him with that translation."

"How old was Caleb when he died?" Sam asked softly.

"Um… almost 30, I think. He was only a couple years old than me." Dean shook his head. "I miss that dude. Come on. I gotta eat something and pick up more beer."


	9. Welcome to the Family

Warnings: Complete AU

Pairing: Deanna/Caleb

* * *

9 - Welcome to the family

John Winchester stepped over the threshold with its kiddie corral and had himself a look around the house while he could. The little gates were in nearly every doorway, toys strewn everywhere. He found a wall covered in pictures of this house's family. A tall man with blue eyes and no hair stepped into the hallway and froze. "Can I help you?"

John turned and looked him over. "Sam?"

"No, he's um… already headed back to school. We won't see him until Thanksgiving." He wiped his hand on his shirt and held it out. "Caleb Bailey."

John took it but didn't give his name. "Good to meet you. I'm told Deanna Winchester also lives here."

"Yeah. My wife, Deanna Bailey. You a friend of the family?"

"Yeah. You could say that."

"She's off at the store. She'll be back in a minute." Caleb picked up a few toys and gently placed them in a pen as not to make too much noise. "You want to wait?"

"Yeah. I would." He nodded and followed Caleb to the living room where there were even more toys to pick up. "You got kids?"

"Three." Caleb nodded. "Down for naps." He made a space for John to sit. "I didn't catch your name."

"I didn't give it. I'd really like to talk to Deanna first."

"Does she know you're here?"

"No."

Caleb motioned to the hallway. "I'm gonna get a beer. You want one?"

"No. Been sober 20 years." John fiddled with his watch. He had his chip strapped to the bottom of it. As a reminder. "I'll take a glass of water or tea if you got it."

"Sweet? Deanna makes the best."

"Sure." John looked around the cozy living room while he waited. Wedding pictures. Baby pictures. Sam graduating high school. He took his glass and sipped it slowly. It was a good strong and sweet tea. Caleb sat with his beer. "Early to be drinking?"

"It's my day off. I take a drink here and there. Kids are down and Deanna will be back soon." Caleb sipped his beer. "You know, if you gave me your name, I could call her and tell her you're here."

"I'll wait." John and Caleb sat with their drinks and waited. "How… um… how long you been married?"

"Seven years. Met Deanna when she came up to go to college. We hit it off right away." Caleb smiled to his beer, his finger spinning his wedding ring around his finger.

"I heard she went to college. Teacher?"

"Nurse. She's teaching cause… well… we're baking number four now." Proud smile on his face.

"Four kids in seven years." John raised his eyebrows.

"Four kids in five years." He corrected softly. "Deanna's ready to have me snipped."

"I had two myself. They'll eat you alive."

"That they will." Caleb smiled at his beer. The back door opened and shut softly. A humming came out as paper crinkled, cabinets opening and shutting. John got to his feet and ran a hand through his hair. Caleb stood and leaned around the corner. "Sweetie, you have company."

"What?" Deanna appeared a moment later. "Are the kids down?"

"Yeah." Caleb nodded and helped her over the gate.

Deanna looked at John and shook her head. "I'm sorry… do I know you?"

"You look beautiful." John couldn't stop the tears from flooding his eyes as he looked her over. Tall, blonde and green-eyed like her mother. Round around the middle with a baby. He sniffed and cleared his throat. "It's been a long time."

Deanna looked to Caleb who shrugged. She approached slowly. "I'm really sorry. Who are you?"

"John Winchester." He breathed in through his nose. "It's taken me a long time to find you, sweetie." She shook her head and her eyes flooded the same as his. "I know. I'm sorry." He pulled a picture out of his flannel pocket. It was the only one he had. The four of them before the fire.

"They said you… left us." She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. She took the picture and sucked in a deep breath at the sight. "It's been 22 years, Dad. Where have you been?"

He sobbed. "I didn't leave you. You were taken from me cause I'm a sorry excuse for a human being." He sniffed. "I was drunk and I nearly killed you both trying to leave town with you. They took you away and then I lost you. I was supposed to clean up my act and by the time I finally did, I couldn't find any traces of you. I've been all over Kansas. By the time I'd gotten wind of where you'd been placed, you were gone to college and no one would tell me where."

"We needed you." She gripped her husband's hands but kept her eyes on her father. "We needed you."

"I know. I'm sorry." He loosened his watch and slipped the chip out. "I've been sober. All this time. Looking for you. Making sure I had a job so that I could get you back but no one would let me have you back."

"How'd you find me?" She asked softly.

"Would you believe I talked to a psychic?" John laughed and wiped at his eyes with the backs of his hands. "I went back to Lawrence and I talked to a psychic. She told me exactly where to find you. Said you were happy and healthy but she didn't say anything about the husband and kids. Said you were teaching."

"Yeah. Here and there. Between kids." She rubbed her belly. She looked to her husband. "Sweetie. Meet my father. John Winchester." She took a shaky breath. "Daddy, this is my loving husband, Caleb Bailey."

"It's good to meet you properly." Caleb shook his hand again. "Would you like to stay for dinner? It's gonna be a Biggerson's night, I think."

"No, sweetie. I don't want to go out." Deanna shook her head. "I don't know when Sam's getting back."

"I'll call it in and pick it up. I thought Sam had left." Caleb frowned at her.

"He missed his bus. He called me a little bit ago. He's trying to book a flight. I gave him the card number." Deanna looked to her father. "I don't know how he's going to react."

Caleb looked to John. "You like steak?"

"Yeah. Sounds good."

"Okay. It's settled. I'll call in our regular. Sam gets here when he gets here. Family reunion." Caleb left them alone while he called in the order.

"Tell me about your life." John watched her sit in Caleb's vacated space. He returned to his chair.

"It was hard, Dad. I didn't understand." She breathed in and out. She found a package of wipes and used them to clean herself up. "I was four." Her shoulders hunched. "I kind of remember the fire. And I kind of remember the crash. I stayed at Mike's for a long time. Then… I think she got sick, his wife, and they couldn't find you. Mike sent us to foster care. It was hard to stay together. They moved us around a lot. They kept trying to send Sam off by himself because he was still a baby. I didn't make things easy for myself. I stopped talking for a while and they… thought there was something wrong with me."

"I'm sorry." John repeated and lowered his eyes to his hands.

"Everywhere we went, I took care of Sam. I wouldn't let him out of my sight. I'd crawl into his crib at night. I'd scare the poor people taking care of us and then we'd go someplace else. When I started to calm down, Sam started to act up. So… they tried to separate us again. Sam ran away to find me. He was scary good at it. When I was 15, they said they had run out of placements unless we were going to cross state lines. The better families we'd been with had worse kid that needed more attention and there was a whole slew we refused to go back with. Because I was almost 16, they sat me down with a judge. We had a long conversation about what was best for us. They wanted to separate us again. I told that judge to go fuck himself."

John laughed. "Did you really?"

"I did. It was the first time I'd used that word and I told him so. I explained that my father had always said that family is stronger together. Maybe he'd given up on us but I hadn't. Sam was my responsibility and I was going to make sure he survived. The homes were awful half the time. The other half they were okay. Sam gets angry so fast and when we're apart, his temper just… It's better now that we're both out of the system. He's… he got in to Stanford, Dad. Stanford. He's going to law school."

"Look at that. I got a teacher and a lawyer." John let the tears slip down his face again.

"I'm going." Caleb cleared his throat. "I think I heard them stirring."

"Okay." She nodded. When he left, she turned her eyes back to her father. "I agreed to a home in Nebraska because the couple had the space for one but would take two if we shared a room. I promised that judge that Sam's temper would be… tempered and I would graduate without a record or a pregnancy. I graduated and um… I had to leave. They were nice folks, though. They let me come visit Sam. They helped me get into school in Lincoln. Their church found me a family to live with while I went to school. Got me a job. Then I met Caleb. This is his house. It was his parents' house. I never met them. They were gone when he was 17. We just… clicked."

"He seems like a nice man. How old is he?"

"He's 32. I know. He's older. A lot of the church ladies had concerns. He was good to me. Within a year we were married. We agreed that I would graduate nursing school before we had kids. I cut it close." She made a face. "We have three with one on the way." She smiled and touched her belly. "Mary is the oldest." She sniffed back the tears when his eyes filled again. "Then Penelope. Penny for short. John came next. Sam got mad at me for naming him after you."

"I don't deserve it." John wiped at his face. "But thank you. I'm glad you had… some faith in me."

"I don't know about that but I wanted to be able to tell them something about where I came from."

"Deanna! These fucking gates." Sam tripped into the house. "The card didn't go through!"

"Sam!" Deanna jumped to her feet and tried to dry her face before Sam saw.

"Oh. Hey. I didn't know you had company." Sam set his bag down. "Um… I got like two hours to make payment or they'll cancel my reservation."

"Yeah, yeah." Deanna nodded. "Sam, come in."

John looked his son over as he rose off the chair once again. He wrung his hands together as he had to look up a bit to meet his son's eye. They shook hands. "Hey Sam." Sam tilted his head at John then at his sister.

"It's Dad." Deanna said simply. "He found us." Sam stormed out of the house. Deanna breathed slowly. "Don't worry about that. It's what he does. It's better than when he starts throwing punches."

The next half hour turned into a whirlwind while Deanna had to get her kids washed for dinner, Caleb had to get dinner laid out. John picked up toys and put them in bins while he examined photos on walls. He poured juice into little cups with lids and prepared a bottle of milk for his namesake. Deanna introduced him as Grandpa to her children. Four year old Mary, two year old Penny, one year old John.

Caleb handed over the chicken shredding to Sam when the moody man returned. He didn't look at John but he did resume his duties as uncle and brother. They crammed around the table to eat. Caleb somehow managed to eat his steak while feeding Penny simultaneously. Deanna cleared her throat. "Dad. I told you about us. Tell us what happened?"

Sam made a face at Deanna but she waved a credit card at him and then shoved it inside her blouse. He sat back and picked at his dinner. John couldn't really blame him.

"I never intended to let things get so out of hand." John sipped his tea. "When your mother died… I didn't handle it so well. I was just over 30, I had two kids. Four years and a six month old. Your mom did all the heavy lifting. We were living in a motel. I was mooching babysitters so I could work. Drinking was easy to do. Everyone wanted to buy me a beer because I had gone through such an ordeal. I didn't realize how bad it'd gotten until Mike showed up at the motel and said maybe you kids should go live with him for a while. While I got myself together. I told him to stick where the sun don't shine. I packed up you kids and I wrapped the car around a fire hydrant on my way out of town. I woke up in the hospital with a busted leg. Then they told me that Deanna broken her arm and Sam had a concussion because I didn't strap the seat in right. I could have killed you." John looked right at Sam but Sam was staring at his mashed potatoes. "Instead of getting sober, I got drunker. Mike took you kids and I spiraled. He bought me out of the business. The insurance money came in. Mike told me to get lost. I wouldn't do you kids any good, the condition I was in.

"I rambled. Got myself beat up. Robbed, stabbed, and I came to in a soup kitchen. I'd found a way in overnight and vomited on the sack of potatoes for the next day's meal. They got me sober. They got me through the shakes. Then I realized that it'd been two years since your mother died. I got myself together and I went looking for you kids. Mike had had a heart attack after his wife died. He was living in Topeka with his sister. I tracked him there. He said you kids had been gone a year. I was close to picking up a drink but I swore I was going to get you back. I went to the courts. My police record did all the speaking for me. I wasn't sober long enough. So… they gave me a list of things I had to do."

"Like what?" Deanna kissed her son's head as she fed him his bottle after she'd cleaned the potatoes and macaroni off him.

"I had to get settled. I had to get a job. I had to get a place where I could raise two kids. I kept imagining you two. You would be six and Sam would be two. It wasn't too late to be a dad. I jumped through the hoops. I kept going to AA. I made sure my sponsor was made of the good stuff. I opened a checking. I paid my bills. I opened a savings. Two years before they would let me plead my case again. They all agreed I was doing better. I still had anger issues. I had to go to anger management. It was another year before I could go back. I had my five year chip and I was working full time. I had a house I was renting. Empty rooms all made up for my kids. You were 11 and you were seven. I was missing all the stuff that I shouldn't miss. That's when they told me they couldn't find you. You were lost in the system but given my record, they wouldn't tear you away from any steady housing you had.

"I moved to… Kansas City. I hired a lawyer. I refused to touch the savings. That was for you guys. I didn't have a lot of money. That first lawyer took what money I had and ran. The second lawyer talked a good game but my record scared him off. Then it boiled down to the fact I was a single father with a history of alcoholism and violence and even if I had a job, which I did, it didn't afford me much time with my kids and that wasn't a good environment for children. Finally, I found a lawyer who was appalled at all the reasons my case had been turned back. She got on the wire to all those people she knew. She tracked you kids down. I wasn't allowed to visit or write or call. Nothing. We were getting close. Then she said you'd been moved again. She was working on finding out where. When she tracked you down, you weren't there. It kept happening. I was losing hope. I was at AA meetings twice a day. I was in danger of losing my job. My house."

Sam looked to his sister. He didn't say anything but it was the most he'd given anyone all evening. John took a breath and a sip of his tea. "It must have been '95 when they told me that the two of you were gone. Nowhere in the state of Kansas. When she looked deeper into the case, it seemed that all the trouble I'd been having was due to a filing error that must have happened sometime in '83. Somewhere someone had put a document in your files that stated my parental rights had been terminated. Thing was… the document was there but it had never been officially signed and filed. It was a draft. Correcting it would take more time and money than I had. She told me she'd keep working on it but without officially overturning a document that was never officially put into place… and no one could find you."

"Then what happened?" Caleb urged and sipped his beer.

"I put my nose to the grindstone. I got a smaller place. I socked every cent I had into my savings. I needed to hire a big shot lawyer to get it done and I was running out of time because… you kids were already teenagers. When Deanna turned 18, I figured I could find her. I spent weekends driving all over the state. I interviewed foster families… with their agent people. I did everything right. I couldn't find you. I gave up for a little while. I kept thinking… Okay, I just need to find Sam and Sam will know where Deanna is. Or I'll find Deanna and she'll know where Sam is. I called high schools to get copies of diplomas. No one had a record of Deanna Winchester graduating. So I gave up."

"Why?" Deanna asked softly.

"That lawyer drilled me with statistics every time I walked in. Kids in foster care get police records. They're sealed usually once they turn 18. There's higher chances of teenage pregnancy and dropping out of school. Sometimes they just run away." John ate a bit just to have something to do with his mouth. "When Sam turned 18, I got into it all over again. AA three times a day. Working part time here and there. Spending all my time looking for a clue. Kept thinking I'd just have to find the right high school."

"But we'd been in Nebraska since '94." Sam spoke softly.

"Yeah. That's what I found out last year. Thing was… The lawyer cut me loose after you turned 18, Sam. She couldn't help anymore. It was too much. I gave up again. Then she calls me a year ago. I'd spent so much time looking under every rock and crevice in Kansas and you weren't even in Kansas. She'd had dinner with a judge who listened to the tale and remembered a boy and girl transferring state systems just to have a chance at a normal life." John drew in a deep shuddering breath. "I… they told me not to get my hopes up. It might not be you guys. The records they had uncovered had been full of violence and learning disorders and those didn't bode well for successful lives."

"So… when did you see the psychic?" Deanna pressed.

"Well. I had to start over. Kind of. I needed as much information as I could get. Went to Lawrence to get copies of birth certificates and doctors records. I saw this ad. I was a hair from taking a drink and I thought… better the money goes to a person trying to make a living than losing my sobriety. I didn't believe anything until I sat down and she stared me. Said I was long overdue. Said she had a lot to tell me but the most important thing I could do was get to Nebraska." John shook his head. "I hadn't even said hello yet. I pressed for details. She said that there was a teacher who looked just like my dead wife. She gave me the exact address. Even warned that the door would be open and not to trip over the gate."

"When was that?" Deanna pressed.

"Six months ago. I… didn't want to believe it and it not be true. It took a lot of nerve to get here. I shouldn't have wasted any time. I should have come straight here." He took a deep breath. "And look. She was right. I've got a teacher for a daughter. Gonna have a lawyer for son. I've got grandkids and a son-in-law." He fiddled with his fork. "I've been talking to my group in town. Separate from my AA. They agree that… um… I shouldn't just assume to walk in and be your dad. I should give you all your space… but I'm moving to Lincoln. That's my choice. I have um… savings that I want to give the two of you. I've been saving a long time and I wanted it to be your college fund but… that's if you even want it. I'm sure you have student loans and the like… and it's yours. You're both welcome to it."

"Dad." Deanna reached over and touched his hand. "We got time for all this. We do."

"I don't." Sam spoke up. "I, for one, could use some cash today. I got an interview on Monday. Law firm internship."

"Right." Deana pulled her credit card out of her blouse. She almost handed it to Sam but paused when she met his eye. They had some sort of silent argument that had Sam's face turning red.

"I got it." John stood. "I don't do credit cards but I got cash."

"Sam." Deanna gnashed her teeth at her brother when he leapt up to take the hand out.

"What? I'm not even sure what to do with a father I don't even remember. All I got is a scar on my head from a car wreck I was too little to remember." Sam took the money John handed over. Then he and Deana left the room arguing.

Caleb raised his beer to John. "Welcome to the family. Murder and mayhem every Friday night. Cheers."


	10. I Know He Is

Warnings: Eh, pretty tame

Pairings: John/Caleb if you squint or believe John's side of things.

* * *

10

Dean Winchester hadn't understood at the time. Dad had just said that maybe he shouldn't get too comfortable around Caleb Bailey. The situation called for a place to crash while he healed. Dean was laid up with a busted leg. The hunter was willing to let Dean crash for a while. Caleb was funny. Dean liked to laugh. Caleb had tons of guns. Dean liked guns. Dean was sure it would be awesome despite the pain and pain killers and the having to stay off his leg.

Caleb had Dean cleaning his guns while Caleb melted down a load of silver. Dean hated silences. Caleb was okay with them. Dean scrubbed and oiled and huffed. "Hey man, how long we known you?"

"A while." Caleb adjusted his flame.

"What are you? 45?"

"I'm 39, asshole." The older hunter cut his eyes at the younger man.

"Sorry." Dean winced. He wasn't too good at gauging the age of anyone over 30. "Just thought you were closer to Dad's age."

"Closer than you are." Caleb straightened and looked at Dean. "John's 12 years older than me. I think I met him at a Roadhouse some years ago. '92 or so. Maybe a little earlier. An old buddy hooked us up cause your dad burns through guns like no one's business. Guns are my business. I used to eat spam but since I got your old man on the hook, I eat steak."

"You're kind of a dick."

"It's what I'm told." He turned back to his flame with a sideways smile. "Two ex-wives, an ex-fiance and too many one-night stands to count."

"Somebody married you?" Dean scoffed. "Two somebodies? And another one was gonna?"

"Did your father want you back alive?" He cut his eyes at the young man again.

"Sorry."

"23 can be a dangerous age to be, Dean." Caleb warned as he dropped a silver chain in his pot. "Especially when you're a good-looking kid. People underestimate you and you stop rising to the occasion to prove them wrong. You get lazy and stop trying hard to be a person. Then when you need those skills, you're old and rusty and not as good looking and no one wants to put the time in letting you slide one more time."

The silence was long while Dean cleaned the guns and Caleb poured silver into molds. Dean hummed after a bit. Caleb turned on the radio. Dean sang along, Caleb turned up the volume. Dean stopped singing, the radio returned to a tolerable level.

At dinner, Chinese takeout, Dean bounced in his seat. He fidgeted. He made an alarming amount of noise for someone who was technically not moving. Caleb shoved three painkillers down his throat. Solved that. Dean was draped over the couch, his broken leg propped on the arm, the other leg sliding off the couch. Caleb rubbed his head and sighed. "You're useless."

"I know. That's why I'm here." Dean smiled and his head dropped onto the couch cushion.

Two days later, Caleb was grinding his teeth and Dean was chattering up a storm. Caleb just wanted a beer and to listen to the radio. It'd been a long ass day. "Dude… I got mad love for your dad but I'm going to kill you."

"What?" Dean grinned. "I thought you liked Metallica."

"I like to listen to Metallica. I do not like to listen to you give an oral history on Metallica." Caleb groaned. "I'm gonna go shave my head. And no I don't need your help."

A week later, Dean was playing a drum solo on Caleb's last nerve. Caleb climbed onto the kid's chest and told him to shut the fuck up or else he'd break his other leg. Then he shoved the rest of his meds down his throat.

Two weeks later, Dean got an air cast. Then he got drunk. Drunk Dean was more tolerable. But still chatty. But it was at a level that wasn't so grating… or else Caleb had just finally gotten used to the chatter. That thought was terrifying. Though, the chatter had taken on a kid of white noise effect that Caleb could tune out if he really tried.

"My dad, man. He gets so drunk." Dean breathed out heavily. "Starts talking to my mom like she's there. Like she's really there. No ghost shit. I made a… thing and it works but doesn't turn on when Dad's going on and on about how much he loves the chick who ain't there. And then he picks fights with Sam."

"Your dad picks fights with everyone when he's drunk." Caleb pointed out. "And I do mean everyone. Six foot seven dudes with muscles on the muscles on their muscles."

Dean laughed a bit and then his smile faded enough that Caleb wondered if he was sobering up. "Hey, Caleb?"

"Yeah, man?"

"A few years back… Dad said something to me and it don't make sense."

"Just something?" Caleb laughed. "Your old man talks a lot of nonsense a lot of the time."

"It's just… he told me not to get too comfortable around you. What the hell?" Dean turned his head to look at Caleb. "What did he mean?"

"John." Caleb cursed under his breath. "It's nothing."

"No come on. Tell me. I mean… he really didn't want me to crash here. I just… want to know why?"

"You really don't want to hear that story."

"Why not?"

"It involves your dad naked."

Dean snorted and fell off the couch, broken leg still on the couch. "Now you gotta tell me."

"I keep trying to tell him and he won't let me explain." Caleb sighed and got comfortable. "We were on a hunt. Your dad fell into a pit. It was full of salivating nymphs. It was hell pulling him out. I got them taken care of but he was still under the influence of the nymph spit."

"What did it do to him?" Dean struggled to get back on the couch.

"It was Spanish Fly, man. He was hot and horny. It was gross. I tried to get him hosed off. He stripped on his own. Okay. I want that known. I was hosing away and not looking and he was grabbing himself. Just… choking the chicken while inside a freezing cold stream of hose water." Caleb shuddered. "Makes my balls hurt just to think about it. Then he started chasing cars."

Dean laughed so hard he snorted. "Why?"

"There were women in them. They might have been underage girls. I don't know. Seemed like a place his dick wanted to be. I had to knock him to the ground and sit on him. Several times. Sat on him this way and that way. He was sucking on my knee and I was just trying to keep him down and out of trouble. Luckily the place we were squatting in didn't have too many upstanding citizens around. No one cared what we were doing wrestling in the mud. He came to with his cock saluting and his hand on my crotch. He'd been at it a while so… I'm not gonna lie. Things were lively in my pants. He hasn't made eye contact since."

Dean was laughing so hard he wasn't making any noise. Then he sucked in a huge breath. "That was awesome."

"Don't tell him I told you. He'll just get pissed all over again. He honestly thinks I drugged him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Caleb laughed to himself.

"But Dad knows you're not gay. I mean… that's a lot of exes you got."

"Your dad grew up in the sixties, man. His folks grew up in the forties. I grew up in the seventies. It was a little different. He's still full of this… undying love for the only woman he'll ever marry." Caleb pulled on his beer and looked to a window. "John and I have talked. You shoot the shit when you're on a hunt together, when you're holed up waiting out a beast, when you're waiting on a shipment and killing time is done easier with some chatter." He looked at the kid. "It's one of the reasons I learned not to chatter so much. Especially with older guys like your dad. One of my marriages was open and she was a swinging gate, my last engagement was… a… more than open but exclusive. It's not stuff your dad is okay with."

"Really?"

"I've been in the world a while and my chosen career path has its pitfalls. I don't waste a lot of time on morals…. And societal conventions." Caleb shrugged. "Maybe once or twice when I was your age, I woke up in a bed with about four or five people and the ratio of girls to boys was weak." He pulled on his beer. "It wasn't a big deal to anyone at the time. Not to me. I know that story made your dad's teeth sing."

"Yeah, I guess." Dean sobered a bit. "Sorry Dad is a dick."

"He is what he is. He's a good man. I'm lucky to count him as a friend. Had the tables been turned, I think your dad would have done the same for me."

"Yeah, he would." Dean nodded. "I would, too. I might even jerk you off. I can't stand to see a man in pain."

"You're a good one, Dean." Caleb toasted him with his whiskey.

A week later, John pulled up to collect Dean. Dean packed up his shit while keeping a steady conversation with Caleb about bass fishing. Bass fishing. John shook Caleb's hand but didn't make eye contact. Dean snorted but got into the car. He gave Caleb a wave as they pulled off the drive. A few miles later, Dean cleared his throat. "So, you think Caleb is gay?"

"I know he is."

"Really, cause you were the one with your hands on his dick, not the other way around."

"Dammit, Dean."


	11. He's Harmless

Warnings: SECRETS

Pairings: John/Mary, Caleb/Mary if that's what you want to believe

* * *

11

Dean had known Caleb for as long as he could remember. He understood that Caleb had been weird longer than that. Dad had always just shrugged and mumbled something about hippies. Mom had always smiled sweetly and just said he was an old friend of her family's. It's just the way it was. Caleb would come over, Dad would go to the garage to tinker, and sometimes Dean would follow him when it got too weird. Caleb and Mom would go in the back room and talk. Sometimes loud, sometimes soft. Sometimes Mom and Dad would fight. Dad would leave for a few days, then he'd come back and it would be like nothing ever happened.

Caleb only came once or twice a year. Still. His visits were memorable. Drinking beer with Dad in the kitchen while Mom cooked. Showing off scars from camping and hunting. Maybe once or twice, Dean saw Caleb standing really close to Mom while Dad was in the bathroom. Touching her hair, her arm.

There were signs. They were all weird.

Maybe Dad had seen them. Maybe he hadn't.

The day Dean came home from junior high and the cops were at his house was the most memorable one. Dad was cuffed in the back of the squad car. His face was bruised and bleeding. Caleb was cuffed on the hood of the same car and he looked the same. Mom was crying on the front steps as she talked to the cops. Dean had rode his bike into the yard and just stared at them all. Mom's hair everywhere. Caleb's shirt off. Dad's shirt torn. Listened to his mother telling the tale.

"He's harmless." She insisted. "Caleb Bailey is the son of my father's friend. All our folks are gone. I've always known him. He's like a little brother. It was a misunderstanding."

"Ma'am, your husband is pretty damn sure that this fellow tried to kill you." The cop pointed to each man in turn where they sat in or on the cop car.

"He didn't. They're just old tea leaves that we've been taught to drink since we were kids. It's not poison. I've been trained to tell the difference, John hasn't. Nor formally like Caleb and I. He's not normally violent. I can see how it might have looked. He's a good man. They're both good men. Things got out of hand." She insisted, her arms wrapped around her stomach. "John has a temper but never with me. It was a misunderstanding."

"Mom?" Dean finally spoke up.

"Dean, sweetie. It's okay." She reached for him and he saw the bruises on her wrists. "It's all okay. You go on in the house. We'll order dinner in, tonight."

Dean went inside and watched from the window as his mother kept talking. Could see his father fuming in the back of the cop car. Caleb sitting up on the hood like he wasn't in custody. He got his homework kind of done while he waited for his mother to convince everyone that no one needed to be taken in.

They let Dad go first. He walked straight into the house. He looked at Dean and sighed. "I'm sorry, kid." Dean shrugged. Dad kissed his head, ruffled his hair and began cleaning up the mess in the living room. A while later, Caleb walked in and went straight the back room to put on a shirt. Mom walked in a bit later. She was having words with the neighbor who had called the cops. When she walked inside the house, she kissed Dean's head and walked upstairs to get changed.

Dean was finishing his homework after dinner when Dad went to the garage to tinker with the radio turned up and a six pack. Dean had to shut the kitchen door to block out the noise. That's when he heard the whispers. He stepped into the hallway. The back room was Caleb's room when he stayed over. No one else ever stayed in there. Mom would go in there even when Caleb wasn't visiting but she always kept the door closed. Far as he knew, his father never even went in to check if the windows were locked like he did with the rest of the house every night. That was Caleb's room and always had been. For longer than the 12 years Dean had been alive.

"It's not happening." His mother's voice.

"They said it would. That it would be you." Caleb's voice rose.

"There's just so much that doesn't add up. It doesn't line up, Caleb."

"If you don't get him under control, he's going to ruin you."

"It's… he's jealous, Caleb. You can't blame him."

"The old lady said that it's definitely you and it should have already happened."

"But I only have one son. No daughters. Just one child. It can't be me."

"You been trying?"

"You think I'd actively put my children into that life? This is why he thinks there's something more between us, Caleb. He doesn't know. Dean doesn't know. I don't want them to know. I keep active because you keep coming around. Things follow you. If I'm not on my game, I lose them. I'm not going to lose them."

"You shouldn't have to hide. You wouldn't if you'd just leave with me. He's a monster. Look at your wrists. Why didn't you fight him off?"

"John is a good man. The best… these only happened because you provoked him. You taunt him with this. It's not anything. It's not. It's just not. I didn't want to hurt him. You shouldn't leave your stuff out and you shouldn't walk around my house without a shirt, Caleb. We've talked about this."

"Run me through it again."

She groaned and her voice rose. "The story hasn't changed in 20 years, Caleb. It's the same every time I tell it."

"Just… do it again."

"Okay." Her voice leveled out. "Dad was on a case. There were usual accidents and people were surviving. There were omens. There were… I don't know. Just not right things. Dad went off to hunt it. I was gonna go to chat up the kids. I didn't."

"Why not?"

"John had just come home from overseas. He got discharged. He bought the van. We… christened it that night. I wasn't there when Dad got his plan together. He left. The way he always does. He came home and said that this was deep. It was game changing."

"That's it."

"Yes. That's it. He chased that phantom for weeks. The trail went cold. He gave up. I missed most of that. John and I were shacked up in the van. We didn't see what was going on."

"And nothing?"

"No. Few months later he and Mom took off with your folks. No one saw any of them again."

"How many babies were there?"

She sighed heavily. "A lot, Caleb. A lot."

"How many before Dean?"

"Three. One stillborn. The others I lost at midway."

"And after."

"Six." Her voice caught. "They just won't stay in me. I'm lucky to have him and we're scaring the crap out of my kid. I can't have him in this, Caleb. He's my only baby."

"I love you. I do. I don't think John's right for you. If you can't tell him…"

"No. I'm never telling him. Not this. Not ever."

Dean started when his father's hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up at his dad, who jerked his head to the side and then led him out the garage. They tinkered a bit. John let Dean have a sip of beer. "I'm sorry for how scary things looked when you got home."

"What happened?"

"I don't know." Dad sighed heavily. "Don't go listening when Caleb's here, huh. It'll just make your head hurt and make you grow up too soon."

"How did Grandpa Campbell die?"

"I'm not too sure. He went off with Caleb's folks on some hunting trip. No one made it back. Caleb came to live with me and Mom for a while. Till he turned 18. You came the next year." Dad fiddled with this and that. "He's not had it easy. He's not been good at holding down a job and he comes here in between. He loves your mother a whole bunch. Okay?"

"How come you always come out here when he comes?"

"I don't like him that much. Not his fault. He's just a weird kid. He's harmless." Dad made a face and waved Dean's question off.

"So… why'd you try to kill him, today?"

"I love Mom a whole bunch, too. I didn't understand what I was seeing. I'm okay. It's okay. It won't happen again."

"I don't like him." Dean admitted. "I don't think he loves Mom the way you think he does."

"No? Are you going to enlighten me?"

"I think he loves Mom the way you do and that's why you hit him."

Dad hid a smile but not very well. "Well, the important thing is she doesn't love him that way."

Dean took a breath and took a chance. "How come you guys never had more kids?"

It was a deep breath and a change of tools before he spoke. "We tried." He set the tools down and leaned on the big black car. "Your mom and me… we had some plans. We were gonna run away from home and live in a van and travel. Have a zillion kids." Arms crossed, he fixed his eyes on his shoes. "Then her folks died. Caleb needed a place to stay. Then we had you. We wanted more kids. Your mom… it's been bad luck. Who knows? Maybe someday. We haven't given up."

"Why did you think Caleb was hurting Mom?"

He met Dean's eyes. "Caleb's folks were hippies. Crystals and incense all that crap. You wouldn't know it to look at your Grandpa Campbell but he held with it. They all did. Mom still does, I guess. Mostly only when Caleb comes to visit. I saw him mixing something up last night. Thought I saw him put it in her tea today." He held a hand up. "I was wrong. I apologized to him. I know he'd never hurt your mom."

"What was it?"

"I thought it was… um…" Dad's face turned red but not in the way it did was he was mad. "Let's just say I've heard too many old wives' tales about plants and tea and women. Your mother set me straight."

"How did Mom's hands get… bruised up?" Dean asked carefully.

"I did that. I was trying to take her cup away from her." He inhaled slowly. "I scared her. Rightly so."

"You gonna have to sleep on the couch?"

"No."

"You leaving again?"

"No. Definitely not."

"Okay." Dean sat inside the car and fiddled with the radio. He listened to the radio and to his father fiddle with the engine. He had lain out on the bench seat and started to doze when the door opened.

Mom. "You're a jerk, John Winchester."

"I know it." He sighed heavily. Dean laid still.

"It was devil's weed, not common rue."

"I don't want you drinking anything called devil's weed." Tools clanged as they were tossed aside.

"I'll have you know that devil's weed is an aphrodisiac. Asshole."

"Why is Caleb slipping you Spanish Fly?

"First, Spanish Fly is made from bugs. Second, I knew it was in there."

"What?"

"I had him mix the tea up for me. I haven't been myself. I thought we needed some time… together. I know you're always ready but I'm not. I just wanted to get into the mood… for you…"

"Well, Mrs. Winchester. I'm surprised at you. Seeing a hoodoo priest to get in my pants." He let the joke die. "I know it's been hard. I didn't want to pressure you."

"I'm okay. I'm ready to make love again. I just… I get scared. Every time it happens…"

"I know. I know." He shushed her. "He just… rubs me the wrong way. I mean… who carries bags of things labeled devil's weed?"

"Caleb does. He's very good at what he does. I know… I know you don't hold with it but he helps people. I was almost like him."

"Oh yeah? What happened?"

"I met you. You surly son of a bitch. Come on. We gotta put the kid to bed and try and see if what little of that tea I got will make any difference."

"Dean, you up?" Dad called out.

"Oh my… John, why didn't you tell me in was in here?" Mom buried her face in his chest. Dean sat up and looked at them through the windshield. "Hi, sweetie. Are you okay?" Dean nodded. "Okay. Let's get to bed huh." When he didn't move, she tilted her head at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Everybody's okay. It's just a misunderstanding." She gave him a smile. "Caleb's leaving tomorrow. Okay?"

"Okay." Dean nodded and slid out of the car. He walked through the house and passed Caleb where he was kneeling on a rug and whispering over bundles of twigs. He stopped before he got to the stairs. "Why do you come here so much?"

"Just looking after your mom." Caleb didn't stop what he was doing. "Do me a favor?"

"Maybe."

"This stuff." He motioned to the mess he had going on the living room floor. "It's important. Your mom doesn't hold with it anymore. I'm trying to keep it together. I'd like to teach it to someone. If not you, someone else close to us." He picked up a bag and showed it to Dean. "You see this. It's called common rue. You see it in the house, you chuck it. It's poison."

Dean frowned at Caleb but looked in the bag. Dried leaves and little yellow flowers. "Looks just like that bag you got over there."

"Good eye but it's not the same." Caleb brought the other bag closer. "See here how these little buds are split in four. And this one has five petals."

"Are those sticker burrs?"

"Yeah. Just like it. They call them goats head fruit when they're still green. Stickers look dangerous but they're safe to eat. Safe to drink in tea." Caleb glanced behind Dean but kept talking urgently. " Just remember this is common rue. It's dangerous. Buds split in four. This is devil's weed. Five petals like your hand. Like the pentagram. It's protection from evil. The sticker burrs look like a goat's head."

"If it's protection from evil, why do they call it devil's weed?"

"Because people are afraid of what they don't understand. Got it?" Caleb took Dean's shoulders in his hands. "I hope you're more like your mom than like your dad. I hope you can try to understand this stuff."

"I think this stuff is weird."

Dean looked at the common rue. "What happens if someone drinks a lot of this stuff?"

"It can make you violently ill." Caleb let go of him and began arranging the bags in his pack.

"And if you drink a little bit, every once in a while?" Dean pressed.

"Um…" Caleb stared at the bag as he recited the symptoms. "Stomach cramps... the girl kind. Kind of makes things… come out."

"What?" Dean frowned.

"You taken sex ed, yet?"

"Yeah… oh. Like man stuff or baby stuff?" Dean made a face and handed the bag back.

"The second thing."

Dean watched him arrange his pack and glanced back at the garage door where his parents had yet to emerge. He went to the kitchen and pulled a tin out of the cabinet. He looked inside it and took it to Caleb. "I think this should leave with you."

Caleb took the tin and opened it. He sniffed it and held it out to Dean. "Where did you get this?"

"Mom drinks it. Then Mom and Dad get sad. Did you give it to her?"

"No. I gave her the other stuff." Caleb put the lid on the tin and shoved it in his bag. "Your mom is slick. Okay." He pulled a face and glanced back at where the door was shut. "Don't tell her you gave it to me."

"Dad says your folks were hippies."

"Nah." Caleb smiled. "My folks weren't hippies. But they knew a lot about this kind of stuff. They taught it to me. I'm gonna teach it to my kids. If I ever have any."

"My mom loves my dad." Dean stated simply. "Forever."

"I know." Caleb tilted his head at the kid. "You gonna lay the law down?"

"If I have to."

"Well, you don't. I swear it."

"Good. I'm going to bed." Dean paused at the stairs. "You're not as bad as my dad thinks."


	12. Maybe He Was Always Supposed to Do It

Pairing: Dean/Caleb

Warning: Mary's alive

* * *

12 - Maybe He was Always Supposed to Do It

Mary paced the waiting room. Dean was fidgeting. Sam was completely still, which meant he was pissed. John was in custody and poor Caleb. Poor Caleb was being worked on. Mary rubbed the back of her neck. "How long, Dean?"

"I don't know. How long have he and I been together or how long have I been gay?" Dean asked boldly. It made her narrow her eyes at him. It wasn't like him to mouth off.

"Well, obviously he's always been gay." Sam interjected. 16 years of pissed off teen. Mary didn't have time for it right now. "That's how people are born. Dad is just—"

"Shut it, Sam." Mary barked at him. She paced and paced. "How long has it been going on with Caleb?"

"I don't know. Few years." Dean shrugged. His knuckles were turning purple. His mouth hurt. His dad hadn't meant to hit him. That had been clear when John Winchester had just stopped moving when he realized where the punch had landed.

"Why didn't you say anything? I thought you were seeing that waitress at Delaney's." She shook her head.

"Well… Dad took it real well." Dean touched his mouth.

"Well… I… He…" She sat across from her boys. "You should have told us. I don't know what he would have said. Would have done. You didn't give him any options."

"He didn't have to start beating the hell out of Caleb." Dean's voice started to rise. He brought it down and lowered his head.

"Next of kin for Caleb Bailey." A doctor stepped into the waiting room.

"I'm his…" Mary trailed off. "I don't know."

"I'm his boyfriend." Dean stood up. He followed the doctor down the short hallway, arms crossed, looking angry.

Sam looked at his mother. "Are you okay with Dean?"

"Sam…" Mary shook her head and stared off at the wall. "I don't know. I just… need to make sure everyone's okay."

"You've known Caleb the longest. You didn't even guess?"

"We're distantly related, Sam. We're not close. We're just all each other has left." She sighed and met her son's eye. "I suspected."

Sam took a breath. "But not about Dean."

Eyes shut she thought about it. "No."

"You mad?"

"No." She sighed and looked to her youngest son. "You've known?"

"He doesn't watch UFC for the sport." Sam pointed out. He picked at the knee of his jeans for a minute. "You think Dad will be pissed? I mean… about who Dean is?"

"I don't know." She took a breath. "You shouldn't have called the cops."

"They would have picked him up anyway. Caleb needed the ambulance." He took a breath and looked at his mom. "Is it wrong that I hope he's mad at Dean? Just so… maybe I could be his favorite for once?"

"Your dad doesn't have favorites."

"But he doesn't get me."

"No, he doesn't." She gave him a smile. "But he loves you. He loves Dean, too. He was just… surprised."

It was Mary who got to go in and see Caleb. It wasn't fair. It's just the way it worked out. He looked awful. Broken nose, broken ribs, bruises all over. He was breathing heavy under the influence of the painkillers. "Hey you."

"Hey. You." He coughed and winced. "I didn't press charges."

"Thanks." She whispered. "Dean's worried about you."

"I know."

"I didn't know, Caleb. I didn't. I'm not sure I like you and my son together. It's not the gay thing. It's the other thing. The thing we don't talk about." She wiped at her eyes. "I don't want my son hunting, Caleb. Ever."

"I know." He nodded. "I don't hold him to any obligations. When I'm here, we're here together. When I'm on a hunt… he knows that I'm away and I'm liable to not come back."

"You've got a few years on him but Dean adores you. Always has. I don't want him getting hurt. I don't want him hunting. If things don't go well with John tonight… he'll expect to leave with you. I can't have that." Mary told him firmly. "I love you. I do. Dean is more important to me."

"I know."

"Dean's tried so hard to keep John's faith in him. He's made a lot of mistakes that John and he have nearly come to blows over. I can't have this breaking up my family. He's finally got a good job. It's for the competition but he got it on his own. I thought he was getting ready to settle down."

"He is." Caleb looked up finally. "I've been thinking about putting my machete down. Just don't know where to set it."

"I think John will be okay with the gay thing but not the hunting."

"Dean's 20. He's made up his mind about who he is. I'm getting to the point where either I tell him or I give it up."

"I have to go check on John. Dean's here. I imagine he's not leaving. If he doesn't go, neither will Sam. Those two…"

"Is Sam okay?"

"Yeah… he's belligerent on Dean's behalf. Same as always." Mary crossed her arms. "I'll talk to John but you've got to talk to Dean. Make up your mind. Leave the hunting out there."

"What if he's good at it?"

"What?"

"What if he's already found it on his own and he's good at it?" Caleb shut his eyes. "I think it would be good if you could talk to him about it. I'm not admitting I believe him."

"What did he see?"

"Poltergeist on Renfro. Then he found a red cap. I didn't even know those things were real." Caleb took a breath. "He's good at it. If I tell him the truth, he's gonna know about you. John's gonna have a hard enough time with this without that."

"Let me talk to John. We'll… we'll tell Dean." Mary paced the limited space. "He's been doing so much better."

"Maybe it's the hunting. Maybe he was always supposed to do it."


	13. Of Course She Was

13 - Of Course She Was

Caleb, Deanna

* * *

Bleary-eyed, the two men read through the books. John Winchester started the coffee dripping again. Caleb Bailey groaned but was grateful for the hot black when it was ready. This hunt was gonna kick their asses if they didn't get a lead soon. Damned faerie lore wove into everything else and everything else into it. If John hadn't been such a good friend the last couple of years, Caleb might have told him to take it on the road.

John stood when the knock came at the door. Caleb looked up, glanced at his watch. "I'm not expecting anyone."

"It's my kid." John grabbed the door. "I told her to meet me here." The door opened and he laughed. "Is it raining?"

"For like three hours. Fucking cats and dogs and prairie dogs." She stepped inside dripping wet. She got her jacket off and hung it up. Shook out her hair. She hugged her dad and stepped further inside. "Coffee?"

"Just made some." John pointed. "Deanna, this is Caleb."

"Hey." She rubbed her arms as she hustled to the coffeemaker.

Caleb waved and tried not to make it too obvious he was watching her go. He tapped his pen on his book. When John said he had kids, he thought they would be kids. This one was, hopefully, around 25. Gorgeous hunters were a rare find.

"I got that book but it's fragile. It's in the car." Deanna relayed to her father, hands wrapped around a mug. "If I can get a box or something, I'll bring it in."

"Go shower. I'll get the book and your bag." John told her. "I need you primed. No colds."

"Yeah, okay." She nodded as she sipped the coffee. When he was gone, she looked to Caleb with big green eyes. "Shower?"

"Um…" His bathroom was filthy. He winced and gestured for her to follow him. He peeked around the door. He grabbed his dirty underwear and damp towels. "The knob has a quirk. It's either ice planet or hell. So… pull it straight out and you should be okay."

He tossed the laundry in the hamper and looked around for clean towels. He found one. He handed it to her. She took it and set it on the toilet tank. She tilted her head at him. "So, you're the infamous Caleb."

"Infamous?"

"The way Dad talks, you walk on water. Least where the guns count." She reached back and got the water going. "The way Dad talks, you're his favorite kid."

"Jealous?"

"Nah. I got gorgeous tits." She shut the door in his face.

Caleb carried his hamper to his laundry closet and checked the dryer. He got it emptied and the washer loaded. Shoved everything in it. He pulled the knob and shut the doors on it. Tossed the jeans and thermals into his closet. He found John carrying a huge book and bag into the house. The book looked like it was about to dissolve.

John left the book with Caleb and dropped the bag next to the bathroom door. While they carefully turned the pages, Deanna emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam. She had the towel on top of her head. Caleb breathed out. She had gorgeous tits. She did. They were amazing. She grabbed her bag and stepped back inside but didn't shut the door. Caleb just hoped John hadn't seen him looking.

They scribbled notes and argued strategy. Deanna appeared in sweats to dig through his fridge. She sat across from them and ate yogurt that he didn't remember buying. She licked her spoon and watched them. "So, this hunt?"

"It's either a faerie or a brownie."

"I thought brownies were helpers and faeries were make-believe." She propped her feet on the table.

"And everything we always thought is always true?" Caleb asked her, barely looking up from the book. "Vampires are killed by stakes to the heart?"

She snorted. "Vampires are extinct."

"And when they weren't, beheading was the only way to kill them." John pointed out. "Get your feet down. You're a guest here."

She put her socked feet back on the floor and finished her yogurt. She drummed her hands on the table. "What can I help with?"

"Go to bed. Need you rested." John pointed to the couch.

"Yes, sir." She saluted and got to her feet.

Caleb glanced at the couch that John had been using for the last week. It looked grimy. He felt bad. She just flopped down on it and shut her eyes. Asleep the way she landed. They spent all night reading the damned book. No closer to figuring it out. Iron was a safe bet. Salt.

John crashed on the table where he was sitting. Caleb got a blanket tossed over Deanna then hit his bed as the sun was coming up. He woke when he heard noise.

"Don't. move. Stop it." Deanna's voice.

Caleb shoved himself to his feet and found Deanna bent over John who was laid out on the floor. He frowned at them and rubbed his eyes. "What happened?"

"This guy fell asleep hunched over, had himself a night terror, jumped up, fell down and put his back out." Deanna growled. "Stop. Moving."

"Come on, John." Caleb moved over to them. "Get on your back." He helped roll the man over and lay him out flat. Then he picked up his feet and yanked them into the air. John screamed. Deanna yelled at him. "Just. Let it happen." He got the man's legs perpendicular to his body and lifted. After a minute John breathed in relief. "Okay. Now, there's no more moving."

He gently put John's legs down. Deanna tilted her head at him. "Where'd you learn that?"

"I had an old man, once. He had a bad back." Caleb stared down at John. "You need to be in a bed." He looked up. "Deanna, go clear off my bed." Caleb squatted over John. "Come on, arms up." Caleb got a good grip on him and stood. He almost put his own back out before John got his feet under him. Then Deanna was helping to steer as they moved through the house. They got him on the bed and the pillows arranged. "Sleep."

They shut the door and Deanna sagged against the wall. "He's so damned stubborn. You should have woke me up when he fell asleep like that."

"He does it all the time. First time his back went out." Caleb tried to explain.

"I tell him to get a motel. He needs a bed." She sniffed and stormed down the hallway.

Caleb got the coffee going and found some eggs for breakfast. She took the peace offering for what it was. She got some to her dad, along with painkillers. Dressed and calm, Deanna sat at the table to look over the notes and the big fragile book. She cried a bit but didn't say anything. He refreshed her coffee and let the silence lie. It got to her eventually. She looked up and wiped her face. "I'm not a child."

"I know."

"He's all I got. He's falling apart." She gritted out between her teeth. "I love him. He's my dad. He wants us to finish the hunt. He's got aches and pains and a shitty back and he wants us to finish the hunt. And my brother's not answering his goddamn phone. And he wants us to finish the hunt."

"So, let's finish the hunt." Caleb sat on the other side of the table. "How old are you?"

"24." She sniffed. "I know. I'm too old for crying. Dad tells me all the time."

"Cry, I don't care." He sipped his coffee. "You… John talks about you and your brother. I thought you guys were like… teenagers. Real young."

"He talks about us?"

"All the time. He's proud. Says… um, Sam is the smartest person who ever lived. Says his darling daughter is the best shot in America."

"He said that?" She smiled at her hands. "He's not good with his words with us."

"It's a dad thing. My old man was like that, too."

"When'd he pass?"

"10 years ago. I was… your age."

"You're not." She smacked his hand. "You're not over 30."

"I am." He nodded.

She leaned on the table and sighed over her cup. "I don't want to do this hunt. I feel like it's too dangerous. I don't know you. I don't know how you hunt but I don't know you well enough to hunt with you."

"That's smart. You want a drink? A real one?"

"Yeah." She held out her cup. Caleb poured a double shot of whiskey into her cup and a triple into his. She sipped her coffee and watched the morning pass outside the windows. "You don't have family?"

"Rawhead got my brother when we were kids. Dad jumped in. Took me with him. Mom… I don't even remember if she died or left or…" Caleb shrugged. "My thing is guns. I like guns. They make sense. More than hunting does."

"I hear that. I like guns." She smiled. "My baby is a 1911 Colt .45."

"That's a good gun. You take care of her."

"Oh yeah. My baby don't jam." She took a breath and a deep drink. "How about you?"

"Ruger." He pointed to the gun mounted. "I don't shoot her. Love her too much."

"That just makes me sad." Her eyes wandered to the closed door at the end of the hall. "I know it's just a thing. He'll be fine in a couple of days. I don't like seeing him like that."

"I know. I don't either. He's a good friend."

"He pisses you off." She grinned into her cup.

"Yes, he does. He's still a good friend."

"Yeah. He's a hero." She drained her cup. She poured herself more and stood up. "You got a TV or something?"

"Yeah." He motioned over to the couch. They got settled with the booze, a bag of chips and a movie marathon. They chatted about westerns and action flicks with hot chicks. Sports and guns. Talked about techniques for bringing down some beasts. He liked her smile. Liked her sense of humor. Liked the way she worried over her dad and her brother. He was a bit in love with her. She fell asleep on his shoulder.

John got up around sunset, walking like a mannequin. He waved off Caleb. He downed a handful of painkillers, chugged a pint of milk and stood watching Deanna sleep for a long time. "She's a good kid."

"Yeah." Caleb nodded and furrowed his brow when John just kept staring at them.

"You two make a cute picture… Just too bad she's a lesbian or I'd set you two up." John made his bracing way back to bed and left Caleb nodding to the television. Of course, she was. Of course she was. That would be the way of it.


	14. It's not that he's not gay

14 - It's not that he's not gay.

* * *

When Dean Winchester let himself fall for Caleb Bailey, he had no idea the can of worms he was opening. He had no idea at all. He couldn't have known. No one had even hinted and his usual ability to read people had been off around these two particular blind spots. He'd been rolling around the madness for months and his little brother usually found the sane way around insanity.

Sam poured his brother a beer and gave him a look. "You fall in love again?"

"You act like it happens a lot." Dean sipped the beer. Weird. His brother was always so weird. Special brews and all kinds of fancy shit. The kid was only 18 and already too good for his big brother's usual brew.

"No, it doesn't. That's why I'm asking. I'm not sure what the hell is going on with you." Sam hadn't exactly missed his brother's drama. It'd been quiet while Mom and Dean were off on hunt after hunt.

"It's just... I met this guy. I think he's great. I thought he was gay, too." Dean shrugged.

"So, he's not. What's the big deal? Not every guy you're attracted to is gay." Sam pointed out.

"It's more than that." Dean shook his head. "It's not like all I got was a vibe. There were looks. There were touches. Jokes. The code."

"The code." Sam nodded to his brother. "You know... in some circles, men can just... flirt. Without codes. It's called coming out of the closet."

"I'm not in a closet."

"No one knows you're gay." Sam pointed out. "Except me. Maybe."

"The important people know." Dean sighed. He should probably tell his mother but he was 90 percent sure she knew. She was his mother. Maybe 80 percent. Possibly 50 percent.

"Fine. So... you thought you were getting smoke signals. So what?" Sam motioned for his older brother to get on with it.

"I put a move on. It wasn't... rejected out of hand. There are... complications." Dean waved his glass around and then set it down. It was stronger than he was used to. Almost like liquor.

"Like what?"

"Like he's into somebody else. Like... dating someone else. I didn't know when I put the moves on." Dean preempted his brother's sigh of disapproval with that last bit. He really hadn't known there was someone else in the picture.

"Okay... so... move on. Unavailable."

"It's more complicated than that." Dean groaned. "I sound like a girl."

"You said it." Sam grinned and hopped up on the table. His brother was really struggling but Sam pressed, Dean would shut down and then he would give up on everything except the hunt. It was his go-to protocol. Sam liked this better. Where Dean would actually talk to him about important shit.

"Kay... here's the deal. This... person, introduced us. I didn't know. No one ever said. Then he and I started doing jobs together. We hunt well together so we kept at it. I started putting things out there, he started to reciprocate... So, I put a move on. Then he... starts to explain I think. Then... I realized he didn't have to because it was all pretty damn clear. But... It's not that he's not gay. It's not that he's not straight. I guess he's bi but he's committed to this other person."

"A girl?"

"Yeah. Female." Dean took a breath. Female was a safe word. "I thought maybe it would be okay. Then... I met her."

"And."

"I know her."

"And."

"She's... Mom?" Dean picked up his beer and finished it off.

"What?" Sam blinked at his brother. "She looks like mom?"

He shook his head as he swallowed down the fancy and high proof beer. "No... Mom is fucking this guy I'm pretty into. Like... if... I don't know."

"Explain this." Sam stared at his brother.

"Look. When I thought it was just some girl, I figured I could share. Then it's Mom... and NO. Not sharing. Not participating. I didn't even know she saw people. Men. I knew she wasn't a nun but you know what a torch she carried for dad. I didn't think she carried on with anyone... you know... exclusively or... you know... long term."

Sam could feel the burning in his gut. It never started slow. It was always a fierce burn when their mother started doing things that impacted her sons' lives in ways that couldn't be undone. "She's carrying on with someone young enough to catch your eye?"

"Yeah. Yeah. He's... 30 or so. I guess Mom's not so old."

"She's 43." Sam poured a beer for himself. He took a big gulp and and breathed in through his nose while the alcohol and flavors did their work. "She's 45 and dating a 30 year old who's been making eyes at her 22 year old son."

"Yeah."

"It's kind of sick." Sam took another big swallow but no amount of water, alcohol or weed had ever numbed the fire that sprouted when he thought about his mother and their life and everything they had never had.

"I don't think she knows." Dean started to backtrack. He frowned at the fury in his brother's eyes. He hadn't meant to give his brother more ammo against their mother.

"So what now?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you can't pursue it. I mean... if he's with mom and you're with him... it's almost like." Sam finished off the beer and set the glass down.

"Yeah. I know."

Sam busied himself with putting the stopper back on the beer and putting it back in the cabinet. "What does he say?"

"He doesn't know either."

"Boys." Mary walked into the apartment and glanced around while patting her pockets the way she did when she was trying to make sure she hadn't forgotten something. "I gotta go. I know I said I'd stay for the graduation thing but... I got a lead. My buddy is taking me out to speak to someone."

"Really, Mom?" Sam bit out and stared at the wall. "I'm the only son who's actually graduating high school. I thought this was what you wanted for me."

"I do and I'm proud but this is the thing that killed your father." Mary stood up straight and barely tilted her head to look in her youngest son's eyes.

"I know!" Sam blew up at her. "I know! This evil thing killed Dad and you've. You're.. I just. Sometimes I wished he'd lived in-... Maybe all this shit wouldn't happen to us."

"Watch your mouth." Mary's eyes glittered with tears. He'd cut himself off but she knew what he thought. He'd been screaming it in her face since he was nine. "Your father was a good man. He didn't deserve what happened to him. If I don't go right now, I could lose it. Then all the work we've done. All that we've given up is for nothing. I want to see you walk so much but I can't let this chance get away."

"Fine. Just go. Just go hunt. Run around with guns. Forget about your children."

"Guys." Dean stepped in. He could feel the panic building in his chest the same way it always did when they fought. Snippets of memory floated into his brain. Mom and Dad going at it and Dad storming out, disappearing for days. Anxiously hovering near his mother in case she decided to run out the door, too.

"I've never forgotten about the two of you. I'm... I gave up everything to make sure you would be safe. I couldn't protect your father but I will protect you. I will find the demon who took him from us." Mary blinked back the tears. Her entire family gone save for her children.

"How can you be so loyal to his memory when obviously you've replaced him?" Sam snarled.

"Sam." Dean bit out. His father's face, shouting, came to mind.

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Mary went still. The way she always did when attacked. By her father, by her husband, and now by her child.

"He doesn't love you." Sam's hazel eyes flashed at her as he stepped into her space, making her tilt her head back further to keep his gaze. "He loves Dean. You're just so full of important works that you don't even see what you're doing, do you?"

"What?" Mary's eyes wavered for a second but stayed on her second son.

"Sam!" Dean yelled, eyes wide circles.

"Dean." Mary looked to her oldest son. She thought that Sam was just pushing buttons but the one he was mashing had gotten his brother riled up. "What is he talking about?"

"Forget it." Dean stormed out, his gait wavering as he went. Drunk, Mary sighed.

"Look what you did. You always do this to him. You make him feel small and I hate you for it. I'm never going to let you make me feel like the things I want are less important than what you want." Sam stared at her. "I wish you were dead and I wsih Dad were here."

"Me too." Mary turned and walked out of the room.

Sam was drinking and crying when Dean got back. He couldn't apologize. It wouldn't be enough. One look at Dean's face and he knew it would never be enough. Dean grabbed his bag and walked out the door. He was standing in the middle of the parking lot. He could easily take the chevy or he could take the olds they used when Mom was gone or he could easily boost any car in the lot. He walked to the Chevy, found his mother in the driver's seat, bottle of gin in hand. He sat in the passenger's seat.

She put the car in drive and capped the bottle, tossing it in the backseat as she guided them out of the city. "I'm sorry, Dean. I think I know what Sam was talking about. I didn't know that the... I knew Caleb was wandering. I didn't know it was with you."

"Nothing's happened yet. I didn't know it was you for a while." Dean admitted.

"He's a good man. I've leaned on him these last years... Why didn't you tell me you were gay?" Mary kept her eyes on the road.

"Sam's the only one who really knows."

"I'm sorry he took his anger out on you. He's never learned not to do that." She sniffed and pulled into an all night diner. Without being asked, Dean walked in and picked up the order she'd placed. He was a little irate that it was coffee and breakfast for two. Like she'd known he'd get into the car. He passed her the coffee and the food. He picked at his. She stared straight ahead as she ate. "I have to tell you something."

"What's that?"

"I love you. I really do." She found his arm and gave it a squeeze. "I'm okay if you like men. I'll leave Caleb alone. I can't give him what he needs anyway. I'm too old. I'm too broken. He's still got hopes. He's still young." She munched on her bisuit and shoved a slice of bacon into her mouth. "I loved your father. More than anything. I gave up a lot to be with him."

"I thought your folks were already dead when you married Dad."

"That's what I have to tell you." She whispered to the windshield. "When Dad came back from Vietnam... I was fighting with them. My dad hated John just because he was a civilian. The fact that he was a war hero had no impact on that man. I loved him and I hated him. He was my father. I wanted him to like John. He always said that John was a nice fellow... for a civilian. My folks used to joke what it would be like when he found out what we were."

"Mom." Dean watched her profile in the light from the diner. He'd never seen her so still in his whole life.

"Strange things were happening. Dad was investigating some kind of omens. I was just trying to love John. I knew he was going to ask me to marry him. We were going to buy a van and ramble around. Then he bought this car." She glanced around at the inside. "I was pissed but he was stubborn and he kept pointing out that it had room enough for kids in the back. We could hitch a trailer if I was so set on rambling. Fighting with my folks got worse. I helped Dad with his hunt... and that's when I first met the demon."

"You met the demon? Before this happened to Dad?" Dean sipped his coffee just to get his eyes off the pain in her face, the tears slipping down her face.

"Yeah. It liked me. So, strange. I stopped it from making a bargain with a friend of mine. It stared right at me. Dad burst in and it was gone. I wanted to run away with John that night. He was seconds from proposing. I just knew he was. Dad showed up and yanked me out of the car. Only it wasn't Dad. It was the demon. Before I could do anything, John was trying to get between us and then John was dead. The demon wearing my father snapped John's neck." Mary took a breath. "He told me that I could have John back though it was too late for my folks. My mother was dead and my father had a lethal wound on him. The demon was the only thing keeping him alive."

"Mom."

"He said I could have John back... all I had to do was make a promise." She sucked in a shuddering breath. "He needed permission to come into my house in ten years. That's all. I agreed. He said I had stay out of his way. I agreed and John woke up. My father was laying there, dead. John took the blame for Dad. Said he blacked out, didn't remember but he must have done it save me. Cops... they didn't like my dad. They good riddance. All hail the war hero John Winchester."

"Mom."

"I almost left him... to save him but I loved him too much. That night... I heard the noise. I saw the lights flickering. I didn't get up. I knew what it was. I didn't know that your dad was up and around. I thought he was passed out in front of the TV. We were still... recovering from our latest fight." She sniffed. "Then he screamed. I got Sam out. I got you out. It was too late for John. I have blamed myself all these years. All he ever did was love me, or try to."

"Mom."

"It did something to Sam, Dean. I don't know what exactly. There was blood on the blanket but I don't know whose. I can't just assume it was your father's. It's coming for Sam and we have to stop it first." She looked at him. "I didn't want you kids to know but... I can't control Sam anymore. Maybe I never could. I lean on you, I do, Dean. I need you to protect him and help me get this demon. If Caleb is what you need to be a whole person, he is yours. I'm not capable of loving anyone the way I loved your father. I'm good for no one, not even my boys."

"Mom... I've been scared my whole life." Dean admitted softly. "I've been scared that I've not been good enough. So I always made sure I was the best shot there was... especially after Sam tried to show me up when I started to fail you. I made sure Sam got his childhood while his genius little brain would let him have it. I hid myself from him because... I didn't want to make it seem like I was leaving him alone in the world. Sam is okay. He's... a little shit and he needs to learn his words hurt... but he's okay." Dean sniffed. "Nothing is going to get to him. He's got a sense of right and wrong that I envy. I don't need some dude to feel like a whole person. I just need to be there when you take this thing on. I will do anything you need me to so that we can kill this son of a bitch."

She rubbed his arm and sniffed back tears while she got herself together. "I need you to take care of Sam. That's what I need you to do. I'm going with a buddy of mine to get in deep. I'll take you Caleb, he'll fill you in. Don't be afraid to love someone Dean. Okay? It won't always end in blood."

"You don't know that."

"No, but I can hope for better for my boys." She touched the back of his head. "Always remember that I love you. Dad loved you and your little shit of a brother loves you. You make me proud. Caleb would be lucky to have you. Lucky. I'm sorry I almost messed that up for you."

"I don't know that I could. Just knowing." Dean picked at his eggs. They were cold already.

"Okay. Life's short, honey. I know we got our missons but don't waste the rest of it on the little things. That's your brother's specialty anyway."

"It's not a waste, Mom. He's smart. Really smart. He'll graduate and go to college. He'll make us proud."

"I am proud of him." She smiled at her first born. "If anyone can make a go at the life I really wanted for you boys, it's him."

"And me?"

"Maybe you were scared but you never failed me. I leaned on you because I knew I could. You're the strongest person I've ever known. You've never left me though I know you could have a dozen times over. I give you space when you need it. I'm your mother. I know you better than anyone. Maybe I knew you were gay but you do a damn good job of hiding yourself from the world." She put the car in reverse and go them on the road. "I'm proudest of you because I know you'll do what needs to be done."

"And what do you think needs to be done?"

"That's my biggest fear. I can't pull the trigger on one of my sons." She kept her eyes on the road. "Could you pull the trigger on your brother if you needed to? If it was the one thing that kept this earth spinning? If it was the one thing that kept the demons in their cages in hell?"


	15. Truce

15

The police officer looked the two men over. He had his eyebrows raised and his pen poised. "Let's walk back through this." He took a breath. "Caleb Bailey owns a bar. Dean Winchester owns a body shop. Nicollette Hammish rolled into town and got a job at the bar. Then she took her car to the body shop. Both of you made moves on her. She dated each of you, simultaneously. Then you found out about him and you stormed into his bar and punched him in the face. Then you threw your barstool through his body shop window. Then the two of you started fighting like five year olds over a woman that I'm pretty sure is now dating my captain."

They shrugged at him. "You never met before?"

They shook their heads at him. "This grudge is new."

They nodded their heads. "Okay. This is what's going to happen. I'm declaring myself Solomon and I'm going to split the baby. I'll cut the woman in half."  
"Do it." Caleb nodded.

"Yeah. Go for it." Dean agreed.

"Okay, since no one wants to save the baby's life, I'm going to give her away. Neither of you get the damned baby. Pay for each other's broken shit and move on with your lives. Please." He closed his notepad. "You're both getting tickets. Pay your fines. Do your anger management. Forget about the girl."

Letting the men off easy was just a figure of speech. They were both locked up and charged with assault, propery destruction and disrupting the peace.

John and Mary Winchester both showed up to bail out their son. Arms crossed, eyebrows drawn and steel in their eyes. Dean was used to it. Unfortunately. John let into Dean the second they were outside the precinct doors. "What in the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that he was a son of a bitch for fucking my girl." Dean leaned on the car and lit a cigarette.

Mary ripped it out of his mouth. "I thought we told you to stop that. And the fighting. This is not good for your father's heart."

"I know. I didn't intend for it to end this way. It could have been worse." Dean sighed and stared at them. "Thanks for bailing me out."

'When is it going to stop, Dean?" John fixed his eyes on the ground. "I signed the business over to you because I thought this business was behind us. You were getting your act together. You were seeing that girl and now what?"

"I don't know. The girl didn't last. This girl..." He shrugged. "I bit off more than I could chew."

"Dean... I just..."

"I know. I gotta go. I have to call the guy out to fix the window." Dean shoved his hands in his pockets. He waited until they left to get in his car. He was still sitting there when Caleb Bailey walked out of the precinct's front doors. The man paused by the car and Dean rolled down his window. "So, I'm banning the bitch from my business."

"She's fired." Caleb nodded as he lit a cigarette. "Look. I'm new to the parts. This is a new career for me. I'm not looking to make enemies of cops or local business. Truce?"

"Truce."

"See you at community service this weekend." He took a long drag on his cigarette. "This your car?"

"Yeah."

"You buy it this way?"

"Inherited it but I've done all the work on it since I was 16."

"I've got a '63 F85, I just got my hands on. Looking for a place I can store and do some work a couple days a week."

"I've got a new bay. Still working on getting it in shape. Not fit for customers but should be okay for storage by the end of next week." Dean took the cigarette when it was offered. "You bought the old Winter's bar. What kind of crowd you got going?"

"Not much of one, to tell the truth. Old Winter's loyal folks and a handful of young folk who think they're bikers. I could use some word of mouth." Caleb nodded.

"I know a few guys who are running out of bars to drink in."

"Caleb Bailey." Caleb offered his hand.

"Dean Winchester." Dean took it. "Mind if I ask who bailed you out?"

"It's wasn't Nicollette. She's not the only piece I've got. See you Saturday, Winchester." Caleb stubbed out his cigarette with his shoe and moved on. Dean shook his head and put his car in drive. He was dialing his buddy at the window place before he left the police parking lot.


	16. I promised your Mom

16 - I promised your mom

Deanna, Caleb

* * *

Mary Winchester slapped the bills into Caleb Bailey's hands. "Eyes up, kid. She's only 17."

"Right." Caleb folded the bills into his pocket but his eyes still followed Deanna around the room. She was grown and grown well. Mary poked him in the shoulder with her finger. "Right."

"I have a hard enough time keeping the football players and soccer players out of her room, I had best not find you in there either." Mary leveled him with a gaze. He nodded and held his hands up. "Don't make me shoot you, Caleb."

Caleb unloaded the rest of Mary's order and started a wrestling match with Sam. He forgot that 13 year olds were quick and had unending endurance. He ended up on the ground with a proud Sam sitting on his chest. He heard the women laughing. Mary was the loudest. "First sign of getting old, Caleb. It just happened."

"Did you just call me old?" Caleb tilted his head back. "I'll have you know that I'm a young strapping man."

"Darling, I love you like a first cousin instead of a fourth but yes. You're getting old." Mary poured out tea for everyone and handed Deanna her gun. "Come on, boys, lunch is on."

They crowded around the card table and ate heartily of Winchester chili and cornbread. Deanna clearedher throat. "So, how are we related to Caleb again?"

"My great-grandfather was his great-grandmother's uncle. I think." Mary shook her head.

"Our great-great-grandfather was Caleb's great-great-great-grandfather." Sam supplied. "Mom is Caleb's third cousin once removed. Which makes Caleb our fourth cousin once removed."

"Your brain is frightening." Deanna told him.

Mary stared at her daughter. "It's not illegal, Deanna but it's in bad taste."

"What is?" Deanna blinked at her mother.

"Don't, with the eyes. I invented that move." Mary sighed and looked to Caleb. His eyes were on his plate.

The conversation moved on to Sam's favorites, science and magic. Caleb kept up with him and didn't move a muscle when he felt the toes on his ankle. Later, he and Mary took some guns out to the far field and did some target shooting. He waited and as usual, Mary just started talking. "It's teenage hormones. I cannot remember being this way when I was her age. I trust you to follow my rules. I don't trust her. I trust her with a gun, with a job, with her brother. I have no idea when she started having sex. None. Could have been six months ago, could have been six years ago. I am serious. What am I going to do? I'll be lucky if I'm not a grandmother by next year."

"You don't think you're overreacting?" Caleb offered lamely. She let out a dry laugh and gave him a helpless look. "She's pretty and she knows it. She's... dangerous. Yes. Am I scared of her? Yes."

"She's decided to get her GED and drop out of school. She already hustles like a woman double her age." Mary set her shotgun down and leaned on the fence. "If I cut her loose and let her run wild. I'll never find her again. She'll end up in a ditch."

"Now, you're being crazy. She's careful. You said football players and soccer players. You didn't say bikers. I'm not going to risk your rage. She's safe with me. I'm not going to touch so long as you say no." He promised. "Seems to me that maybe she cats around with guys she can take down. I'd worry when she starts hiding hunters in the closet."

"She should have been born a boy." Mary sighed. "John would have loved her even more than he did."

"I'm sure he would have taken the kid either way."

"She confused him. Tea parties and dolls. He didn't know what to do with her. He was just starting to really shine on having a daddy's girl. Then came Sam and he had all kinds of plans for T-ball and all that jazz. Too bad he hadn't tried harder with her. She would've loved T-ball. She would have torn that field up. Sam took you down, he can't take Deanna down. I can't take her down. She fights dirty."

"I noticed."

"She took downa werewolf by herself last year. She was 16 and she took down a werewolf before I had even got my feet out of the car." Mary crossed her arms and stared over the field. "I'm gonna lose her."

"You won't."

"I know." Mary sighed. "Is it terribly unfeminist of me to wish for a sweeter girl or a boy instead?"

"You don't want Deanna to be a boy. She'd impregnate half the country."

"You're absolutely right, Caleb." She sighed and glanced in the direction of the house. "Do me a favor, you start fucking my daughter, you never let me find out. I don't doubt her deviousness for a second. I know she was trying to play footsie. Thanks for not giving in this time."

"Why do you think a 17 year old girl has any power over me?" Caleb laughed.

"She's my daughter but she's also John's daughter. She's so much his daughter." She laughed and grabbed her guns and ammo. "John was a force. Deanna... she's a wild wind. She'll knock you over if you're not prepared."

"I'm sure I'm stronger than a hormonal teenager." Caleb reassured her and they made their way back to the house.

Dinner, laughter and a movie. Caleb took his pillow to the couch. He let Mary have his room so she could talk to her contacts without the little ears underfoot. Deanna and Sam always shared his spare room. It was quiet and dark and he was ready to fall asleep though his muscles complained about the wrestling match. He needed to get back in shape if a 13 year old had taken him down. Groaning, he got up to find his stash of pain pills.

He wished he was surprised that Deanna "accidentally" bumped into him in the hallway, in her underwear. He let her pass, then opted for whiskey instead. She found him in the kitchen and hopped up on the table. "Can't sleep?"

"I'm more of a night owl." She shrugged.

"You mind? People eat on that table." He motioned to her underwear clad bottom. He pointedly ignored her smirk. Maybe Mary was right to worry about Deanna. She hopped off and sat in a chair. "Thanks."

"Can I have one of those?"

"No." He told her even as he poured himself another.

"Mom lets me."

"That's a lie." He laughed. "I've known your mom my whole life. I think I met your dad once."

"Really. You did?" The smile slipped off her face.

"I was a kid, of course. He's been gone 13 years, right? I was nine or so, you were still a baby. Your dad scared the shit out of me and I'd seen scarier shit than some Marine who married my cousin." He laughed to himself. "I remember thinking that he was the tallest man I ever met. When he lied, he had this smile. Big and bright. Like he was daring you to call him on the carpet for his words."

She grinned and ducked her head. "Mom says the same thing. Only... I mostly remember him telling me to go play with Mom. I'd try to hang out with him in the garage but he wouldn't let me help. I stayed out of the way. I listened. I tell Mom when the car needs fixing. Autoshop taught me what he wouldn't. He never wanted girls."

"I'm sure, given time, he would have seen what you were trying to give him."

"That's what Mom says." She brushed her hair out of her face. She made a face at Caleb when he poured her a glass of milk but grinned when he poured himself one. "I miss him, though. Sam... never knew him."

"No, but you can always tell him stories."

"Mom talks all the time but not about what I remember. I remember fighting. I remember him ignoring me. I remember her crying."

"You were four." He pointed out.

"Yeah but it's what I remember."

"Know what I remember about my folks? Guns. Homemade chicken pot pie. Grossest van known to man and that they loved each other." He grinned at the thoughts, and flashes of memories that flew through his head.

"The important stuff." She gulped her milk and leaned on her hand. "You're not human."

"I'm very human."

"What gives?" She bit her lip and tilted her head and those big green eyes had only one thing in them.

"I promised your mom."

She made a face at her glass of milk. "Ugh. Gross."

"She thinks you'll make her a grandmother inside of a year."

"Super gross. I'm horny, not stupid."

"What do you think is going happen if your evil plot succeeds?"

"A good time."

"And then?"

"What "and then?"" She shrugged and avoided his eyes.

"There's always a tomorrow, Deanna. Always."

"Why do you listen to her? She doesn't know the half of what's going on with me."

"She might know more than you think."

"Tell, the truth. Was she a subject of gossip when she was my age?"

"Sure was. Dating the civilian was a hot topic. When her folks died and she turned up engaged, everyone was counting down to your emergence. They all figured out she was secretly a shark." He nodded when she shook her head at him. "They don't give birth til two to three years after mating."

"You're stupid." She laughed.

"I'm completely serious. I was a kid, sitting under this table and Mom and her sister were gossiping like no tomorrow. "When she got married so young, I just figured there was a baby on the way. We waited and waited. Honeymoon came and went. John was such a handsome man and you know Mary is such an active girl. You know they have to be banging away their lives. Where is the baby?""

Deanna laughed and covered her face with her hands. When she sobered, she leaned on the table. "Thanks. I forget that Mom is human sometimes."

"When you did show up, they talked about it non-stop. "It's about damn time." All that shit, it was great."

"That's a little weird. People were waiting for me to be born."

"And look at you. Tough as nails hunter. Mary told me about the werewolf last year. Not bad, little one."

"Shut up." She tilted her head at him. "Are you gay?"

"No."

"But you're not going to succumb to my wiles?"

"Nope."

"Because you're scared of my mom?"

"Because I like to think I'm a good guy."

"Liar." She narrowed her eyes at him and polished off her milk. "When you lie, your upper lip disappears."

"How do you know?"

"I've been watching you all day." She sat up and stared at him. "Mom says Dad could seduce a nun out of her habit. You think I'm capable of the same?"

"I think it's not out of your wheelhouse."

"If I were older, would you? Sleep with me?"

"It's not up for discussion." He took her glass and his to the sink. "It's not going to happen."

"Cause I'm disgusting?"

"Cause you're the daughter of my third cousin once removed."

"You guys are so weird." She shoved herself away from the table and disappeared down the hallway.

He rinsed out the glasses and set them aside for the morning wash. He found Mary in the hallway when he made his way to the couch. He sighed and shrugged at her. She shook her head and leaned on the wall. "Thanks for that."

"Don't say I never did you any favors." He pointed his finger at her. "I don't exactly get propositioned by hot young things often."

"Then, thanks for that, too." She took a breath and touched the closed door of her children's room before heading to bed. She knew Caleb and even if he didn't show a thing, it didn't mean he didn't feel it. He'd made a promise and she believed he'd try to keep it. They all knew that promises were broken too easily. John had promised to take care of her and he had while he could. John's daughter had declared war on a grown man's libido. Mary knew that she could expect strange silences if she didn't take her kids and go. She had a job to do and her attention was split. Her kids or the demon who killed her husband.


End file.
